Sparkle and Shade

Moleskine Wellness Journal

2012-01-03T20:36:00.000Z

Hey Lovelies,

What you may or may not know about me is that my first love has always been and will always be stationery. As much as I love food and exercise and making things, it's stationery that really hits my buttons. Hence I was overjoyed when my housemate and her girlfriend presented me with this for Christmas:

I love keeping journals and I love tracking my exercising so this is just perfect. Look at all its gorgeous sections:

A food calendar telling me what's in season when... perfect for trying to eat locally and seasonally! There's also a list of foods and their nutritional content.

And then look at all the wonderful sections - Personal Goals, Exercise Log, Diet, General Health, Games/Sport, Inspirations. And then hiding behind there are 6 unmarked sections *and* and index.... drool, drool, drool.

I love that it has space for weekly and monthly goals - it's an excellent way of keeping goals in track and not getting overwhelmed by them. One thing I love about goals over resolutions is that they lend themselves to being modified and this is a perfect way of setting smaller, achievable ones.

It has a great exercise tracker with space for intensity, time, distance/reps, weather, notes... the whole shebang!

A daily diet tracker too! I got into the habit of tracking what I ate towards the end of last year and found it really helpful... I want to get back into it, because it helped me to see some unhealthy habits I'd started to develop.

There's a whole heap more that I could show you, but I think I'll probably have bored you all to death! Needless to say it's utterly wonderful and if any of you are looking for a good fitness journal, I'd definitely recommend this one!

Questions:
Do you keep a fitness/wellness journal?
What are some of your favourite inspirational quotes (I have a whole inspiration section ready and waiting to be filled!)

2012 Goals

2012-01-02T18:18:00.001Z

Hello Lovelies,

A belated happy new year to you all. I saw in the New Year with some delightful friends at a post-apocalyptic warehouse party... sooo many awesome costumes. I looked a little like this:

Annnyway, a new year is an excellent time to set some goals and think about what you want to achieve. I can't stand making resolutions because in all honesty, I find them too focused on taking things away from yourself and pressurising yourself into doing things. Goals, however, are all about making yourself more excellent and come with a degree of flexibility. You break a resolution, but you can always be working towards a goal - a far more positive and achievable way of doing things.

So, my 2012 goals list is:

Establish a weight training regime
Enter two 10k races
Possibly (depending on how my health holds up) enter a half marathon at the end of the year
Get my relationship with food back to a positive, happy place
Make more things! (Mainly sewing, but crocheting and knitting too)
Improve my posture and flexibility
Take better care of myself generally (or, as my housemate says, apply my own oxygen mask first before I look after everyone else)
See my sisters more
Visit 2 new countries
Journal more (I have a Wellbeing journal which I'll share with you in another post and a couple of person journals too)

Personally, I'm feeling pretty positive about all of these. All of them feel achievable, all of them are things which are going to make life a bit more awesome.

Question:

What are your goals for 2012?

2011: The Year That Was

2011-12-30T15:02:00.000Z

Hello Lovelies,

I hope you've all had a nice festive break and that you're all recovering from the endless stream of mince pies you'll no doubt have had forced upon you. I spent the majority of mine relaxing with my sister and her family, which was lovely.

As it's that time of year for goal setting and reflection, I thought it was worth having a look at the goals I set myself for this year and how I did with them! 2011 has been a funny year for me - it's had some wonderful parts and some really horrendous ones. I've met some wonderful people and had some terrible experiences. I've been happier than I've been for a long time, and also ill (in a whole variety of ways) for almost half of the year. A lot has changed, and I'm a very, very different person to who I was at the start of the year, but you know what? I think it's good. I feel like I've got a lot of my "me-ness" back, if that makes sense?

Anyway, on to the goals of The Year That Was:

1. Continue Shredding and aim for a regular fitness routine (including getting back into running when the weather is a little warmer)
This all went a bit caflooy when I got ill with post viral fatigue. Until then, I was doing moderately well. Maybe not *quite* as well as I'd have liked to, but I was training for a half marathon and getting into a good routine. Then I got ill and have spent the subsequent months being terrified of exercise. However, I've spent the last few weeks making sure that all changes, which can only be a good thing.

2. Eat vegan more (aiming for around 60-75% of the time by the end of the year)
This I have most definitely won at! I eat vegan around 90-95% of the time. Sometimes, it's just not practical or possible, but generally I'm vegan... just willing to be flexible about it too :)
3. Carry on blogging regularly
Big massive fail at this one - it all started incredibly well, but then post viral fatigue and general life shaped ick got in the way and my blogging mojo left me, which I found really difficult.

4. Attempt the craftster.org 50 in 52 challenge (50 craft projects in a year - eeeek)
There aren't quite words for how much I failed at this. I made so few craft things I'm embarrassed. My sewing machine most definitely needs more use!

5. Get better at keeping my eyebrows in shape
Yes! I love my eyebrows now more than I ever have in my life. It sounds like a stupid thing, but for years I've hated my eyebrows because they're thick and dark and one of them grows upwards a little like Patrick Moore, but I've definitely tamed them.

6. Post more FOTDs and get a bit more creative with makeup again
Yeah, this didn't really happen, but the makeup I wear on a daily basis makes me incredibly happy.

7.Work as an MUA on at least 1 photoshoot and continue building my portfolio
This didn't happen either, although there was technically a shoot I was meant to work on (but then... you guessed it, I got ill). What I did end up doing though was 15 women's make up for our work Christmas Party, so I feel that kinda counts.

8. Apply for a GTP in Hull and see where that takes me
Well, I most definitely applied. This was an incredibly long and painful process, that lead to a hell of a lot of change and re-evaulation. A lot of what came from my GTP application was good, some of it less so good. I'd say that this is the thing that shaped my year more than anything else, and I'm not entirely certain I had any idea of just how much of an impact it was going to have. Let's put it this way - this time last year, I certainly didn't expect to be housesharing in Greenwich and working as a PA in Camden.

9.Live a more ethical life - try not to use products tested on animals, recycle/upcycle more, make, do and mend wherever possible!
Done, to as much of an extent as this sort of thing can be measured.

10. Project 365 and Thrify 365.

Fail. Big, massive, huge, incredible fail. I challenge myself to Project 365 every year.... and every year I fail to do it. Maybe one day I'll learn.... maybe.

So a bit of a mixed year all in all, but I'm happy to see that I did manage to stick to or work through some of my goals at the very least. It's interesting to reflect on just how much can change in such a short amount of time!

Question:

What were your goals for 2011? How did you do?

Insane in the membrane, Insane in the brain!

2011-12-22T13:21:00.002Z

Ok, possibly a slightly tongue in cheek title, but it's been my earworm for the last few days.

Those of you who follow me on a twitter will probably have noted that I've been a bit errr... crazy in the head stakes. Partially, this post is going to be a little explaining, partially it's going to be some pondering on mental health issues and how they're often perceived.

So, first things first. I'm not depressed. It's interesting that when you say something's wrong with your brain, people assume you're depressed or at the very least sad. I'm not. What I do have is severe anxiety, which triggers ocd, panic attacks and just a general grim feeling of everything being overwhelming. For the record, this isn't like feeling anxious before a job interview or just worrying about things. It's intense and its debilitating. It feels like the whole world is caving in on you and you're completely out of control. It's possible that I also had a hypomanic period. But we'll ignore that one for now.

The other thing I've noticed is how weird it feels to talk about having a mental health problem. I mean, I talk about everything with anyone. I'm an incredibly open person. If you follow me on twitter, you'll know that there's not much I won't tweet about. But tweeting about my mental health, that made me... uncomfortable. At least to start with. Right now, I'm deciding to screw that uncomfortableness and just tweet my way through things. I'd tweet if I'd been to the Drs and given antibiotics for a chest infection, why on earth shouldn't I tweet I've been given diazepam to calm my brain down?!

Two good things have come out of this. The first is that so many people seem to have started to engage in conversation with me about mental health. Not just mine, but theirs too. Anything that increases the visibility and dialogue about mental health issues can only be a good thing as far as I'm concerned. The other good thing that's come out of this is that through the power of Twitter and awesome things, I've manned up and got myself some medical help. Boom!

Saying all of that, I think it's also important for us to acknowledge that for a lot of people, Christmas is a difficult time of year, for a whole host of reasons. I know that Christmas politics are one of the many things that triggered my crazy. Christmas is a difficult time, especially if you're alone or there are things you can't cope with. The wonderful Kellie of Big Fashionista has been compiling a list of useful numbers for anyone who's finding the festive period difficult - be it depression, anxiety, bipolar... please, know that you're not alone. Know that you deserve help, that you're entitled to help, that things can get better. Here's the list. Use it if you need it, pass it on to someone else if you think they might.

MIND

www.mind.org.uk

0300 123 3393

Samaritans

www.samaritans.org

08457 90 90 90

Alcoholics Anonymous

0845 769 7555

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/newcomers

Stonewall

Info line 08000 50 20 20

www.stonewall.org.uk

London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard

0207 837 7324

SANELine

0845 767 8000

www.sane.org.uk

Preventing young suicide

www.papyrus-uk.org

For people in Northern Ireland

www.lifeline.info

0808 808 8000

Childline

www.childline.org.uk

0800 1111

Depressionalliance

www.depressionalliance.org

Refuge

www.refuge.org.uk

0808 2000 247

Eating Disorders Association

www.edauk.com

0845 634 1414

Shelter

www.shelter.org.uk

0808 800 4444

NHS Direct

www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk

0845 4647

No Panic

0808 808 0545

www.no-panic.co.uk

And one last thing - why not knock on your neighbours door with a Christmas card and the offer of a festive mince pie this year? You never know the difference it could make :)

Recipe: Garlicy Mushroom, Courgette and Babycorn Wraps

2011-12-08T09:28:00.001Z

Hello Lovelies!

So errr... I FOUND GLUTEN FREE TORTILLA WRAPS!!! You have no idea how excited I got about this. Tortillas are one of the things I've really, really missed since going gluten free, as they're a vegan's source to a quick and easy lunch. I've never really been a sandwich girl, but tortillas... yum. Anyway, to celebrate, I made myself some pretty delicious wraps last night.

I'll be honest, this is barely worth calling a recipe, but it was so delicious that I thought I'd share it with you anyway.

You're going to need:
3 Tortilla (I use these gluten free corn tortillas)
2 Big Cloves of Garlic
3 medium mushrooms, sliced
1/4 courgette, cut into half moons or quarters
4 Babycorn, chopped up small
Spinach
Hummus! (I use Sabra aka crack hummus)
A couple of spoonfuls of pine nuts
Mild Goats Cheese (optional)
Herbs/Spices

In a hot, dry pan, toast your pine nuts - they don't need long and you'll need to keep shaking the pan to stop them from burning, but I promise you, they taste a thousand times better toasted.

Remove the pine nutes and in the same pan, saute your mushrooms, garlic, courgette and babycorn in a little olive oil over a medium heat for around 5-10 minutes until they soft and have started to get a bit juicy. I added oregano, basil, black pepper, salt, a pinch of cayenne, herbs d'prov and a dash of vegan worcester sauce to mine.

Heat up your tortilla wraps.

Spread with a thin(ish) layer of hummus, then a handful of spinach, followed by a couple of spoonfuls of your yummy mushroom, courgette and babycorn concoction, a couple of blobs of goats cheese and a sprinkle of pine nuts. Yum!!

I had a bit left over and didn't fancy another wrap, so I made myself a wee salad instead - perfect :D

Question:
Are you a tortilla fan? What's your favourite filling

(Also, please excuse the truly awful pictures... I haven't managed to find my battery charger for my camera since moving hence you got the slightly horrific macbook proud of my food photos I put on twitter last night!)

A bit of food based reflection

2011-12-06T12:12:00.001Z

Hey lovelies,

So after yesterday's food based melt down, I've done a bit of reflection and established the following things:

I need to stop apologising for being a wheat free mostly vegan. I apologise for it all the time and tell people it doesn't matter but actually, it does!
I'm going to reintroduce goats cheese into my diet because it doesn't seem to screw with my body too much and it'll be a good extra source of fat and protein and calcium.
Eggs are icky. I intend to carry on avoiding them.
Microwaveable ice packs are my friend. I discovered some dairy and gluten free risotto packs today, so that's good. Once my stomach has settled, I can go back to my old favourite of Uncle Ben's Spicy Mexican Rice. Adding cashews to them for protein and maybe a few baby sweetcorn or some mushrooms will help balance them out a bit more.
I need to start bulk cooking things at the weekend to freeze into portions. This means scheduling time into my diary to do this!

Thank you to those of you who helped out yesterday. Any other suggestions or words of advice would be gratefully received.

Question:

What do you eat for lunch?

Food Woes!

2011-12-05T16:22:00.001Z

Hello,

So I try to keep my ranting and such away from the blog, but at the moment, I'm having a bit of a bout of the food woes and I was wondering if any of you can shed some light or give me some inspiration/advice on how best to cope with it.

As most of you know, I'm wheat intolerant (although I've been extremely bad about avoiding it recently), mostly vegan (and that's partially because of my body's reaction to dairy since getting ill with post viral fatigue)... what you might not know is that I'm also kinda intolerant to tomatoes and peppers.

The result of this is that I'm basically feeling immensely frustrated by food... I've been stupidly busy since moving to London and tend to eat out most days. As a result, I'm not eating properly and my lunches are really bad.

I hate lunch at the best of times (finding interesting wheat free, dairy free, veggie options that aren't heavy on tomatoes and peppers = really not easy) but at the moment, I'm just completely bewildered. Breakfast I just don't care about and I've taken to skipping and dinner tends to be eaten on the hoof.

It got to the point today where I stood with a packet of stuffed vine leaves in my hand in Marks and Spencers and just sobbed when I saw they had tomatoes in. Normally, they'd be fine, but after my body's reaction to peppers yesterday, I knew I had to leave them be. Instead, I spent £8 on lunch from Whole Foods. Not cool.

Essentially what I'm saying is, what on earth can I eat?! How can I fall in love with food again when my body is being so anti everything? Also, unlike a lot of food bloggers, a salad doesn't work for me lunch wise. I know my body well enough to know that I need carbs to sustain me. I'm also concerned I'm not getting enough protein at the moment (I've had massive meat cravings).

Sorry for the slightly whiny post but please, can anyone help me get my food shaped mojo back?!

Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle: Grudges and Forgiveness

2011-11-24T09:12:00.001Z

Hello lovelies!

So, here's a little fact about me that you might not know - I'm really, really bad at baring grudges. I just don't get it. Likewise for spiteful revenge and stewing in envy. I'm not really that much of a jealous person either. I'm horrifically insecure, but I'm just not really that good at doing the whole "I hate you, you ruined my life thing"*

I used to be though. I had a messy upbringing and a Mother who looooves to hate. She'll cling on to the rubbish in her life like you wouldn't believe, referring to people by horrible nicknames and generally making herself miserable as a result.

Despite the fact I would no longer call myself a Christian, it was Christianity that brought me to embrace the whole forgiveness thing. And I discovered that as I made an active attempt at forgiving people (and telling them that I forgive them), I became a lot happier and a lot more chilled out. I don't think any of us really like clinging on to the stuff from the past that makes me miserable, and I think that often, the only thing it ever really does is make us more miserable as a result.

The other thing I started to do was to seek people out to say sorry to - the girl that I was mean to at school, the friend that I lost touch with, the ex step-sibling I used to tell tales on. I started looking for people to say sorry to and to ask forgiveness of and it made me happier. 9 times out of 10, people are willing to accept your apologies and you can both move on with your lives. Sometimes, people cling to the stuff that's hurt them. That's ok. Well, I mean it's not, but you tried right? And that counts for something. And maybe, in a few years time when the hurts subsided and they've moved to a better place, they can forgive you too.

I'm writing this for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because an old friend of mine, my best friend for my teenage years, got in touch today to say sorry for hurting me towards the end of our friendship. I had two choices - I could send her a message back telling her yeah she had hurt me and things had been shit and I'd needed her or I could message her back and let her know that I forgive her and I love her and I miss her. I'm guessing you know which one I went for. And it's so good to have her back in my life again. Because those things are true - I do still love her, and I did miss her and I truly do forgive her. And I accept that it takes balls to hunt someone down purely to say sorry - she didn't expect forgiveness, but she wanted me to know that she loved me, was sorry and hoped my life was working out. She didn't even try to make excuses for why she'd done the things she'd done. She just acknowledged that she'd done them, and that that hadn't been on.

Secondly, I'm writing it with the vague hope that I can encourage some of you to break free from grudge baring and clinging on to those old hurts. Go on. Or maybe, just maybe, to encourage you to go and apologise for that thing you did. But don't try and shift the blame or make excuses. Just say sorry, and mean it.

Question:
How are you with grudge baring and forgiveness? Do you cling to old hurts or can you let them go easily?

*This is true most of the time, but as I wrote this, I realised there's someone who I'm really, really baring a grudge against. I'm sending her a text the minute I publish this blog post. (ETA - I've sent the text. And you know what? I feel better for it. I apologised for the anger and hunt and resentment I've been clinging to towards this person and that situation. I'm still waiting to hear back, but that's ok)

FOTD - Much Furore over Mushrooms

2011-11-19T11:46:00.001Z

Hello Lovelies,

So in keeping with my desire to give my readers shock based heart attacks, I've decided to do a wee FOTD... today was the first time in a while I've had time to play about with make up, and I came up with with natural but very pretty and girly look, so I thought I'd share. My new room has the biggest window ever too and the lighting for photos is just incredible, so I felt it was only right to take advantage of it on this gorgeous autumnal day.

Face/Lips:
The Body Shop Nature's Minerals in 03
Mac Ripe Peach Blush Ombre
Bobbi Brown blush in Apricot
Barry M Lip Paint in 150 Pink Suede

Eyes:
NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk
Illamasqua Pure Pigment in Furore
Urban Decay Eyeshadow in Muchness (Alice BOS)
Urban Decay Eyeshadow in Mushroom
Avon Supershock Gel Eyeliner in Black
Avon Supershock Max Mascara in Black
Rimmel Professional Eyebrow Pencil in Black Brown

I'm not dead!

2011-11-12T08:58:00.001Z

Honest! But I have been crazily busy recently.

I moved down to London last Sunday, on my own, and started my new job on Monday. I'm very, very fortunate to have so many friends already here in old London Town, so I've certainly not been bored for my first week - I've been off galavanting here, there and everywhere! In fact, today is my first day where I have nothing at all planned (I was originally going to the Fem 11 conference but you know what? I just needed the time to myself). I'm living in Greenwich but I haven't seen anything of Greenwich itself other than my daily walk to and from the station, so I plan to go exploring there at some point soon too!

I'm sorry that the blog has been neglected a little over the last few months - there's been some fairly intense personal stuff going on and, if I'm honest, I haven't eaten that healthily and nor have I really done anything you could call exercise. Life has mainly been focused on getting through each day to the next.

Rest assured though that now things are a little more settled, you'll be hearing more from me again. In fact, I have a super easy apple and cinnamon flapjack recipe that I'm planning on whipping up a batch of today, so I might just share that with you later.

Now, enough about me, what I really want to know is How are you?!

The Big Smoke

2011-10-08T18:48:00.001+01:00

Hello, hello! So if you follow me on Twitter, you'll already know this, but for those of you that don't, I have some big and very exciting news:

I'm moving to London!!!!

I was offered a position as PA to the Managing Directors of Profero in Camden yesterday and I said a great big happy yes. I'll be moving mid-November, so if any of you are looking for a flatmate, or know anyone else who's looking for one, please do get in touch.

Recipe: American Style Peanut, Apple and Blueberry Pancakes

2011-09-25T10:13:00.002+01:00

Hello lovelies!

I'm carrying on the pancake obsession, so I thought I'd share these beauties that I made this morning with you.

We're using the same basic recipe as my American Style Blueberry Chocolate Chip Pancakes - 1/2 cup (GF) flour, 1/2 cup (soya) milk (plus a bit extra if using GF flour), 1 tsp baking powder, 1 Tbsp + 1 heaped tsp caster sugar. Mix together until smooth using a fork then add 1 tbsp peanut butter, 1/2 a grated apple (I used a sharp cooking apple), 1/2 tsp cinnamon and a sprinkling of blueberries. Mix again until thick and smooth.

Spoon 1/2 a ladle of batter into a hot oiled frying pan. Cook for 1-2 minutes until golden underneath and then flip with a spatula or fish slice.

Is it wrong that I find this picture a bit cute?

Delicious! I really enjoy this flavour combination - perfect for autumn :)

Makes 8-10 delicious pancakes.

Questions:
Do you ever get obsessed with making the same thing over and over again?
What's your favourite flavour combination at the moment?

Recipe: American Style Blueberry Peanut Chocolate Chip Pancakes

2011-09-16T10:02:00.000+01:00

We all love pancakes right? I'm yet to meet a person who can honestly say they don't love them. Anyway, the other day I had a pancake craving, so I decided to whip up these bad boys. They're super easy, hence why I'm not going to give you step by step photos (I've also lost one of the batteries to my camera... *sigh*)

In a mixing bowl combine 1/2 cup flour (I use Doves Farm Gluten Free but regular flour will work fine), 1/2 cup (soya) milk (plus a few spoonfuls extra if using Gluten Free flour), 1 tsp Baking Powder, 1 Tbsp + 1 Tsp Caster Sugar and 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter with Chocolate chips (or regular peanut butter and a sprinkle of chocolate chips). Use a fork or a whisk to mix until smooth then add a handful of blueberries (frozen or fresh work fine).

I use around half a ladle of batter for each pancake:

Cook over a medium flame in a hot oiled non-stick frying pan (I use a teeny dribble of oil for each pancake and swipe it around with a silicon pastry brush). Turn after a minute or two using a fish slice/spatula.

I serve mine with Provamel Apple and Green Tea yoghurt on the side. Yum Yum!

Notes:
If you can't have/don't want peanut butter, sub it out. They should still work, although you may wish to add a little oil to the batter.
Play around with flavours - other berries, raisin and cinnamon, almonds.... have fun!

Makes 8-10 yummy pancakes.

PS Sorry for the shockingly bad quality photos from my phone.
PPS Special mention to my twitter friend RicheyRevol who suggested I should make blueberry pancakes in the first place.

Topman replied...

2011-09-15T15:46:00.000+01:00

... and here's what they said:

"Dear Emily,

Thank you for your email received 14 September 2011, regarding the ‘New Girlfriend’ T-shirt.
I was extremely concerned to note your comments on the design that is on this T-shirt, and would like to offer my sincere apologies on behalf of Topman for the obvious upset this particular garment has caused you.
Topman stock T-shirts with various designs on them, and by featuring this particular design we certainly did not mean to cause offence to our customers or any members of the public. Please accept my assurances that this image was meant to be light hearted without carrying any serious meaning.
I have passed a copy of your email to our Buying Director, so that he is aware of how strongly you feel about this issue. We are proud of our reputation as a retailer, and do not want to risk damaging this by causing any unnecessary upset to anyone. He has confirmed that the decision has been made to remove this T-shirt from online and in store.

I am grateful you have taken the time to bring your concerns to our attention, and once again apologise for the upset this T-shirt caused you.

Regards,

Steph
Topman Customer Service"

Anyone else get a response from them?

UPDATE: Having spoken to another friend who emailed them, this is their copy and paste response (as I expected)

Err, What the Hell Topman?

2011-09-14T12:34:00.002+01:00

I saw this t shirt posted on twitter earlier, currently available in Topman, and I feel a little sick. Below is the email I've sent to customer services. Remember how us bloggers got on to Mac for the Rodarte collection? Maybe you might want to send them a little email yourself (and feel free to post it in the comments/link me to your blog post if you do)

Dear Topman,

Hello! I'm not a man, in fact I'm a fairly plucky young woman, but I just thought I'd drop you a line to tell you how utterly offensive and degrading I find this t-shirt. No doubt you'll think I'm humourless and uncool (I'm not) but I'd really like to know what on earth made you think this was an acceptable, appropriate or even vaguely amusing slogan to allow.
Many of your customers are young, impressionable men - t-shirts like this add to the idea that a woman is an object. In fact, you're barely even bothering to consider a girlfriend an object here - more like a piece of cattle that's been acquired from the market or a dog that you'd keep under the table and feed the scraps to. We could take it broader maybe - have you thought about the fact that this is, in part, condoning the sex trafficking industry? That there are women who are very much bought and sold like cattle, who are viewed almost as something to be bred, not as individuals with their own rights, thoughts and opinions?

My hope is that you will a)respond to my email and explain yourselves, b)pull this stock from your shelves asap and c)donate any revenue from sales of this t-shirt to an appropriate charity such as Refuge or Women's Aid.

I (and my readers) hope to hear back from you soon,

Emily Birkinshaw,

http://sparkleandshade.com

You can get in touch with them here

After I sent this, I also saw this one:

UPDATE: Topman have pulled both t shirts. However, still get in touch, let them know how you feel and badger them for a charitable donation.

Mediterranean Vegetable and Lentil Crumble.

2011-09-05T20:07:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

I thought it was high time I brought you another recipe, and this is a rather delicious one as we move into autumn (my favourite of all the seasons - I hate summer because I never quite know what to eat or cook)

First, chop your veg into fairly small pieces - I used a small onion, 2 cloves garlic, 4 mushrooms, a medium leek (I'd added them to the pan before I took this picture), 1/2 yellow pepper, 1/2 medium courgette, 1/2 medium aubergine.

Next, heat a good glug of olive oil in a big pan and gradually add your veg, stirring. I tend to add them in the order I listed them above :) Once your veg are nice and soft (feel free to add a little more oil if they're sticking but not too much), you can add your seasoning.

As always, I encourage you to play around with the seasoning, and I didn't measure but I roughly used 1tsp each of herbs d'prov, paprika, basil and oregano, 1/2 tsp cayenne (it was quite spicy, so you may wish to use less), pinch Za'tar, 1.5tsp Marigold bouillon, lots of pepper, a few grinds of salt, splash of vegan Worcester sauce and about a tablespoon of organic ketchup.

Next, add a tin of chopped tomatoes, around 1/2 cup of water and 1/2 cup of lentils. Turn the heat down so that it's gently simmering and leave to cook for around 10-15 minutes, stirring regularly.

I used 1.5 tbsp dairy free marg, 3/4 cup of oats, 1/4 cup Doves Farm Gluten Free flour, 2 garlic and herb gluten free crackers (totally optional), 2 tbsp Parmazano (see picture below), 1/4 cup Nutritional Yeast Flakes, 1/4 tsp rosemary and lots of salt and pepper. For a simple version, just use marg, oats, flour and herbs/S&P. For non-vegans, add in 1/3 cup of strong grated chedder. To make this truly gluten free, sub GF flour for the oats. You might need to play around with the amount of marg that you use as well.

Magical Parmazano - you can find this in the free from asile of most supermarkets. Vegetarians, take note - parmesan is not veggie.. it always, always, always contains rennet aka baby cows stomach lining. Ewww.

Blend for around 2 or 3 minutes until you have a lovely crumbly, breadcrumb type consistency.

Transfer your vegetable mixture to a large baking dish

Top with an even layer of crumble and an extra grind of black pepper.

Bake on 180C for around 35-40 minutes. Remove when your crumble is slightly browned (I know you can't see much difference, but I promise it was).

Yum yum yum!

For Sale: Inglot Palette

2011-08-17T12:35:00.002+01:00

Hello hello!

Just a quickie - I'm selling this Inglot Palette. I literally never use it so I figure someone else might want it. I'm thinking £28 inc. p&p but I'm open to offers.

One of the shadows has a couple of slight nicks where I've failed at trying to get it out of the palette but basically its been used maybe 3 times at most?

SOLD

Feminism is not a dirty word.

2011-08-15T07:46:00.003+01:00

Hello, hello!

I'm finally back from all of my travelling and galavanting about... I'm shattered but its been amazing. First off, let me recommend that you try and find a time when you do a few days of travelling solo. There's something incredible about travelling on your own, especially via public transport. You get to meet so many more interesting people than you do when travelling in a group or even in a pair - you instantly become more approachable... obviously it's important to stay safe when travelling solo (maybe I'll turn this into a longer blog post at some point) but seriously, go do it. I ended up chatting a a Brazilian guy who'd just been travelling in Sweden, a Slaughterhouse worker who does photography in his spare time and read The Sun purely for Fabulous magazine, a nice man who was intrigued by the unique colour of my dress, some wonderfully tattoo'd PHD students, a whole group of amazingly crazy silly people that looked after me for a whole weekend, two fantastic London based feminists who I bonded with over burger choices and an extremely interesting socialist-anarchist-feminist whilst waiting for our far too late trains. I possibly missed some people out there, but you get the idea. You travel solo, you meet amazing, random people.

I'm probably going to bring you a few blog posts about the stuff that went on at the Uk Feminista Summer School I've just been to - there was so much to take in and I'm still trying to process half of it. I filled an entire notebook and that doesn't include some of the random conversations and action planning things that happened.

I doubt anyone from Uk Feminista is reading this, but if they are, I really want to thank them for making this a free event. I mean, what can you get for free these days? Really not that much... but a whole weekend of listening to amazingly inspiring speakers?! Incredible.

Over the course of the weekend, I had the chance to attend 9 sessions on various aspects of feminism... some I found incredibly inspiring and useful, others less so. I know a list isn't the most interesting thing to read, but to give you some idea of the variety on offer, this is what I attended: Feminist Resistance: the past, present and future of activism; Every Movement needs a Front Line: the role of non-violent direct action in feminism; How to do.... Non-violent Direct Action; Women and the Revolution; what the Arab Spring holds for women; Under Attack: defending women's reproductive rights; How to... run an effective campaign; Activism in Theory and Practice: from research to the "real world"; All in It Together? How the cuts are hitting women hardest; The Global Struggle: International Feminist Resistance. See why my brain is exploding now?

For me, one of the most empowering things about this weekend was being able to see first hand that feminists really don't have a specific mould that they fit into. I mean I knew that, but I figured I'd be rejected because I'm not "feminist enough". Stupid right? But also totally understandable - I think any philosophy that you're choosing to adopt can induce such fear. What if someone asks you a question that you can't answer? What if you need to defend yourself and can't? What if the Feminism police decide you're not good enough to be representing their ranks? Screw it I say. If someone has an issue with what you're choosing to believe in, that's their problem, not yours. It's SO incredibly important that we take a pro-active stance in not just our futures, but in the futures of the future generations. The rioting last week has only highlighted the need for change in our society.

I think it's crucial that we stop thinking of Feminism as a dirty word - we need to stop thinking of it as something negative and separatist and as something that's important to people of all genders, all backgrounds, all people everywhere. Don't be afraid to call yourself a feminist. Don't worry about what people will think - it doesn't mean you're crazy. It doesn't (necessarily) mean you're a troublemaker. It doesn't mean you have to fit yourself into a certain box or proforma of what a Feminist looks like or how a Feminist acts. It doesn't mean you have to start going on protests or reading lengthy academic texts. It does mean that you care about the need for equality for all, about fairness, about basic human rights. I can see no reason for a logical, rational person to not claim the word Feminist for themselves.

I'm going to leave you with two quotes from the weekend that have really struck me:

"When someone asks "Why are you a Feminist?", your reply should be "Why aren't you?" - Rosalind Miles (Men, this applies to you too)

"If you aren't on the table, you're on the menu" - Really, really important for us to think about. Where are we as women when the decisions are being made about our futures? If we don't speak up and speak out, we'll just get devoured in the process.

Questions:
Would you call yourself a Feminist? If not, why not?

Free Frank Fernie

2011-08-06T15:23:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies

Today I went on a march/rally/protest (in the pouring rain!) for to support the Free Frank Fernie campaign. Frank is one of the ever increasing victims of political sentencing that are being used as martyrs to scare people out of their right to protest. He has no previous criminal record but has been sent to prison for 12 months for throwing 2 sticks during a very violent protest (violence mainly being administered by the police who’d been hitting and beating him for a significant amount of time before). The sticks the threw were a) extremely light and b) didn’t hurt anyone. One clipped a police officer in full riot gear. That was it. People who beat their wives, knock people over in their cars, get into bar fights and break peoples noses get less time in prison than Frank has. The judge himself said he was using Frank as an example.

For more information about how you can get involved in the Free Frank Fernie campaign, visit freefrankfernie.info and spread the word via retweeting or mentioning this if you read it.

New hair and a couple of pretty dresses!

2011-08-05T21:20:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies!

I'm absolutely loving reading all your wishes over on this post - if you haven't made one yet, why not head over now and do it? I know a couple of people have already had their wishes granted :D Such a wonderful thing to see happening (even if it is really a sneaky bit of SEO work!)

I thought I'd share my new hair and a couple of pretty dresses I got in the sale with you! I desperately needed something light and uncreasable for my little jaunt to London/Birmingham next week (I want to travel as lightly as possible!) and I stumbled across these two beauties for £12 in the sale... but, even more excitingly, they were on buy one get on free so I paid a teeny tiny £6 each!

Dorothy Perkins

Dorothy Perkins (I totally forgot to pop a belt on... it looks far nicer with a belt!)

I also got my hair cut this week... it was SO good to feel well enough to have a wander around town and to feel strong enough to sit up for a hair cut. It's about 3 months since I first had it cut short and I had a bit of a panic because I couldn't go to the hairdresser who originally did it but the woman who ended up cutting it did an even better job and I think I love this even more than I loved my original short do!

Questions:

Have you done anything exciting this week?

Have you managed to pick up anything in the sale?

Are you impulsive or do you like to plan in advance?

Have your wish granted by a real life Fairy Hobmother!

2011-08-04T16:47:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

[source]

Today I received the most unexpected, lovely surprise in my inbox - a visit from the Fairy Hobmother. The eagle eyed amongst you may have noticed that the Fairy Hobmother from Appliances UK has been wandering around the blogging world, granting wishes here, there and everywhere to bring us bloggers a bit of unexpected joy and happiness in the form of lovely treats. I first saw her on Lily's blog and decided to leave a little wish in the comments - my wish was for a lovely bundle of fabric to make pretty skirts and dresses with.

I thought nothing of it and had actually forgotten about it until that email popped up in my inbox granting my wish with a very, very generous gift voucher indeed!

And, being the lovely Fairy Hobmother that she is, I've got a feeling that if you leave a comment in this post, some of you might just get a visit from the Fairy Hobmother too.

So go on, make a wish - I can't guarantee it'll get granted but if you never wish, you'll never know :)

A summer of conquering fears

2011-08-02T17:33:00.000+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

Sorry it's been a bit quiet - I was on holiday last week! I won't bore you with a full recount, but there's some snaps here if you fancy a nosey!

You might remember this post about taking the bull by the horns I did a while ago - well, it seems like that's becoming the theme of my summer. That and conquering my fears. One of silver linings of being ill has been that I've had time to take stock of my life and get a grip. I realised, after some long chats with lovely friends, that I'm often held back by silly fears! So I've decided I'm gonna kick them to the curb this summer.

I started on holiday by.....

Going in the Sea! I've been terrified of the sea for as long as I can remember. I think it all started when we went on a holiday where the beach was littered with washed up jellyfish and got worse when we went to France and I saw the biggest jellyfish I've ever seen washed up on the beach. They were HUGE - at least 30cm across. It sort of put me off the whole shebang. However, it's kinda silly really so I decided that the beautiful beaches of Saunderfoot and Tenby were the perfect places to get over my fear AND I DID!! I went in the sea nearly every day (although I forgot my bikini so I didn't actually swim in it).

Emily 1 Fears 0

I'll be carrying on the fear conquering by...

[source]

Going to the Free Frankie Fernie protest this Saturday. I've chatted before about my desire to protest but my fear of crowds/getting into trouble, but again, I need to stop faffing and start doing. (If you're wondering who Frankie Fernie is, he's a student from York who was given a 12 month sentence for throwing 2 sticks during a protest. He's one of many victims of a wave of political sentencing being used to make an example of protestors to scare people out of their right to protest.). So fingers crossed...

Emily 2 Fears 0

My next bit of fear conquering is a big one... I'm actually a bit terrified about it...

[source]

I'm going to That London on my own for the first time next Thursday and Friday. I've been to London a couple of times before - my ex-boyfriend was from Surrey originally so we'd go down a fair bit to see his family and stuff but it still generally terrified me. However, there's something pretty awesome about London that I love (in theory) so I figured I'd use some of my free time to go have an explore. I'll be staying with my best friend from Uni (who I lived with for 4 years) so I know I'll have a bit of refuge but still... this is a pretty big one for me. Feel free to suggest awesome (free/cheap) things for me to do/see/eat whilst I'm there (and if you fancy meeting up for a drink let me know and I'll see if I can squeeze you in!) And seeing as the tickets are already booked I guess that means it's....

Emily 3 Fears 0

I'll be back home on Friday but dashing out again on Saturday for the one that started all this fear conquering...

The Uk Feminista Summer School - a weekend of learning and hanging out with over 600 feminist activists. I'm pretty excited about this really. The reason this is fear conquering is because I'm kinda shy and have a bit of an inferiority complex - I'd normally avoid things like this in case I didn't know enough or wasn't good enough to get involved. Pah! That's what I say to that Pah!! So of course we know it's

Emily 4 Fears 0

It's seeming that I'm doing pretty well at beating out those fears. I'm sure there's some other's that'll crop up but I'm feeling fairly confident that I'll at the very least try to kick their butts!

Questions:

What are you afraid of?

Have you ever conquered a big fear?

What are your plans for the summer?

My new love aka Peanut Butter Puffins

2011-07-22T14:34:00.000+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

Finding interesting, quick, relatively healthy, vegan, wheat free breakfast cereals in the UK can be a pretty depressing activity. In fact, if it wasn't for Doves Farm's Chocolate Stars and Low Fat Flakes, I think I'd be a very depressed bunny indeed. Hence, I decided it was time to get a bit creative and after hearing Nicky and Laura declaring their love of Peanut Butter Puffins all the time, I decided to take the plunge and order myself a couple of boxes.

These little crispy, puffy pillows are utterly divine. They hit that perfect spot between salty and sweet with a good peanutty kick to satisfy any health bloggers nut butter cravings! They're also really rather healthy, for a processed cereal and the ingredients list is gorgeously natural! I'm sold... I can see the start of a rather expensive addiction.

You can grab them from iherb and provided you only order one or two boxes, the airmail shipping really isn't too bad (and only took around a week and a half to arrive)!

Questions:
Have you tried Peanut Butter Puffins?
What's your current favourite breakfast treat?

Review: Lush Volcano Foot Mask

2011-07-20T16:25:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies.

Today I'm going to be bringing you a review of this bad boy:

Volcano is one of those phoenix-esq Lush products. It used to be around a looong time ago as part of the Fresh range, then it went, then it came back, then (I think) it went again and now it's back, it a smaller tub. A product's gotta be good to have made its reappearance that many times - no matter how often we try to kill it, it just won't die.

Volcano is part foot mask, part foot scrub and oh my goodness, do I love it. It's packed with yummy things like papaya and lemon (packed full of antiseptic cleansing power), tomatoes (they're deodorizsng apparently...), a multitude of other anti-fungal and astringent herbal bits and errr, potatoes. Yeah, I'm not sure either. All of this is mixed into a based of kaolin and pumic to give your feet a good deep clean and exfoliate.

To use it, you simply need to slather it on - not too thickly though:

Next, wrap your feet in cling film or two plastic bags and leave for 10 minutes. Spend the majority of those 10 minute admiring your new, cheap-as-free shoes and attempting not to break your neck when you need a wee.

I can definitely see this look going down well for A/W 2011 fashion, no?

After your 10 minutes are up, unwrap your feet and give them a good massage. This will help the exfoliation process and (if you're anything like me) warm your feet up a bit too! Then, plunge them into a bowl of warm water and rinse thoroughly. No, seriously, if you think you've finished rinsing, keep going. A white mask of kaolin does not an attractive foot make.

To finish, slather your feet in a luxuriously rich moisturiser, Ta-daa super soft feet!

One thing I will say is this isn't a massively moisturising foot mask, and it does have a lot of active ingredients. If your feet are really dry or cracked, you might want to opt for something else. I find this leaves my feet feeling really fresh and tingly afterwards but equally, that could be less of a nice feeling if your feet are already a bit sore.

Available from: Lush (online and instore) for £5.50
Would I buy this product again? Yes!

*Disclaimer* This product was sent to me for review purposes

Small moments of joy

2011-07-15T17:46:00.003+01:00

Hello lovelies,

It's Friday (apparently!) which means it's nearly the weekend - do you have anything lovely planned? For me, the weekend and weekdays are barely distinguishable from one another at the moment! I thought I'd share some of the small moments of joy from the past week that have made my 5th week of house arrest a little more bearable...

♥ Leaving the house on Monday night
I went to a pub, an actual pub with people and everything. It's a long time since I've been to a pub (because of anxiety issues) so this was really quite special - I spent an evening with awesome people I didn't really know, chatting about protesting and the best thing? The pub had a cat that I got to fuss!

♥ A visit from my best friend on Tuesday
Admittedly, I was a little silly as I made us walk into town and wore myself out but I love spending time with Katie and her gorgeous son. It was so lovely and I very much appreciated my Iced Tea!

♥ Even more visits on Thursday
My friend Graham came to see me on Thursday afternoon - I love spending time with Graham, we always have such interesting chats. On Thursday we chatted about activism, anarchist philosophy, theology, feminism and gender. Graham and I kept each other sane when we were working for the same church so it's always nice to get time to catch up with him. I then had a lovely visit from my mother-in-law and one of my other best friends, Mary who took me off to the Farmer's Cart for afternoon tea, which was a bit of a disaster as they served no gluten free options and no vegan options either. I had to beg them to do me a bowl of crisps. I did however have this gorgeous smoothie:

I felt like I should have been sipping it by a pool somewhere hot!

♥ Random surprise gifts

Sorry that I look an absolute state, however the flowers themselves are beautiful! I was just given them by a lady I barely know from a church I no longer go to who'd heard I was ill. It was such a wonderful surprise and the flowers are gorgeous (some of my favourite flowers actually!)

Question:
What have been the small joys in your life this week?

A difficult decision.

2011-07-13T11:00:00.000+01:00

Hello Lovelies.

Are you having a nice week so far? What have you been doing with yourselves? This week I've mainly been enjoying...

munching cookies with a big glass of chocolate and hemp soya milkshake...

and learning how to knit!

But also, I've had to make a really hard decision this week. I already knew I wouldn't be well enough to run the York 10k I had scheduled in but I've also decided to pull out of the Great North Run. I'm gutted to be honest. I've been looking forward to it all year but I've had to look at my health at the moment and the ever decreasing amount of time left in the run up and realistically, I won't be able to safely train or take part in a half marathon in September. I'm still waiting to hear back from the CF Trust about whether I'll be able to defer my place to next year or not but needless to say, I'm pretty crushed about having to make this decision.

I'm actually finding it really frustrating to not be able to exercise - I miss running and yoga and cycling. I think I hadn't realised how much I use exercise to (successfully) control my anxiety issues. When I'm doing those things, I can get rid of any extra nervous energy that I'm carrying. When I'm not, I feel a bit like I might go crazy.

Question:
How do you help your body chill out when you can't exercise?

Taking the bull by the horns.

2011-07-12T09:11:00.000+01:00

Aloha!

Remember this post about the comparison trap? Well I thought I'd give you a bit of an update on some progress I've made towards breaking the comparison trap.

One of my most stupid points of comparison was comparing myself to activist friends of mine and deciding I wasn't "activist" enough to be able to get involved in protests. Yeah, I know, stupid. To be fair, I've also had some issues with anxiety over the last year or two so I've found the thought of crowds a little terrifying.

However, it appears that being trapped in your house alone for over a month gives you plenty of time to think and you end up making some pretty good decisions. Mine has been that I need to stop just talking the talk and start walking the walk.

So how am I doing it? Well, as I said in the original Comparison Trap post, I think it's important to see if you can make an achievable goal out of the thing you're comparing yourself to. My achievable goal has been to read, read, read. One of the things that worried me was that I wouldn't have enough knowledge - thanks to my ridiculous amount of time off, I've been able to read plenty!

I've also taken steps towards getting involved in the local Stop the Cuts group (I even LEFT THE HOUSE last night to go to a workshop on Organising Protests.... leaving the house was amazing. I went to an actual pub and sat with actual people and everything. I mean yeah, I was falling asleep but still - I LEFT THE HOUSE!!!), I'm doing the promo for Just Do It and I'm going to this:

The Uk Feminista Summer School. It's a completely free weekend of seminars and workshops from some pretty awesome speakers (there's a full list on their website). At the moment, I know literally no-one going (terrifying!!) so if you're planning on going, do let me know!

Question:
What have you challenged yourself to do recently?

What I've been munching

2011-07-10T20:30:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

I know it's all quiet here - I'm still ill (yup, it's getting ridiculous now) hence there's not been much in the way of tasty recipes going on (too tired to cook) and I don't have masses to tell you (too tired to leave the house!)

However, I thought I'd share some of my favourite meals and munchies of the past week with you starting with....

Socca Pizza! We made the base a little too thick but oh my goodness it was delicious. I made the batter from 1 cup chickpea flour mixed with 1 cup water, 1 tbs olive oil, salt and pepper and herbs. Poured it into a cake tin, baked for 20 minutes and then topped with homemade tomato sauce, tonnes of veg and some Cheezly Super Melting Mozzarella and cooked for another 10 minutes or so. Yum!

Chocolate and Beetroot cake. Wait, correction, Gluten Free Vegan Chocolate and Beetroot Cake... with amazing sugarcoma inducing chocolate frosting. The recipe is here (I subbed the flour for Doves Farm Gluten Free Flour and added 1tsp vanilla extract too) and the frosting recipe is a random one I found on vegweb. We've finally found a way to use up the beetroot that so often appears in our vegbox. It was fudgey deliciousness.

Errr, yes, yes I do feel the need to take a bite out of everything before I photograph it (I'm a hungry monster). I made these cookies yesterday - they're technically meant to be whoopie pies but a)I couldn't be bothered to make up frosting and b)I wanted to eat cookies, not whoopie pies. They're like a delicious cross between a cookie and a cake though which is alll good! I used this recipe and subbed in Doves Farm GF flour and caster sugar for brown sugar (because it's what we had in!)

Question:
What have you been munching this week?

Just Do It

2011-07-06T08:58:00.000+01:00

Aloha!

A wee break from the norm to share a little info about a film I'm really rather excited about... nope, not Harry Potter (although I am ridiculously excited about that), I'm talking about Just Do It

So why am I excited about this?

Basically, film maker Emily James has spent a whole year immersed in the world of activist groups (mainly Climate Camp and Plane Stupid), seeing the real nitty gritty of their lives and work. Just Do It is an opportunity to see the lives of people who aren't just willing to sit back and accept the world the way it is, but who are dedicated to standing up and making their voices heard. The access Emily James gained into the inner workings of these groups is unprecedented and aims to show the true passion and motivation of the people involved.

As someone who's a passionate activist at heart but has a tendency towards laziness and fear of crowds, I feel this film is going to be a very welcome kick up the arse - a film to motivate and inspire. We don't all need to superglue ourselves to the bank trading floors as some of the activists in this film did (although maybe more of us should be taking direct action, after all it was direct action that got women the vote and stopped the apartheid...), but I do think it's important that we break free of the chains of apathy and make take a stand against the corruption and destruction of the world.

I'd strongly urge you go see this - even if you're not remotely interested in activism or politics or environmental issues, go see it. It might just change your mind :)

Just Do It is showing in selected cinemas nationwide from July 15th - you can find your local screening here.

Doctor, Doctor...

2011-07-04T20:24:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies,

Thank you for your kind comments on my last post. I thought I'd give you a little update on how my visit went this afternoon after this morning's slightly upsetting phonecall .

Essentially, the Dr agrees that I'm not depressed (see, I told you!) and that it is post-viral fatigue. She said she thinks my immune system basically freaks out when I get a virus (well... she didn't use those exact words) and this will probably be my body's response to it anytime I get a full on virus... which explains a lot about the last four or five years.

She's signed me off work for another two weeks (which gets a boo for not being able to go back but also a yey for her understanding I'm not well enough to go back) and wants me to keep resting but gradually increase my activity levels a little more every day too.

She also apologised for upsetting me this morning and saying I was depressed, which I thought was incredibly nice of her.

So the plan for the next two weeks goes something like this:
♥ Rest!!
♥ Even if you think you're better, rest a little more
♥ Plan in a small activity every day - a walk to the corner shop etc
♥ Drink lots, eat healthily, keep the brain active

One of the most frustrating things is it's looking like I probably won't be able to run the York 10k and I'm a little worried about my Great North Run entry too... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it I guess.

Question:
What's your favourite Doctor Doctor joke?

For every step forward, I seem to take 3 steps back.

2011-07-04T12:45:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies,

Thank you for all the lovely comments on my last post - it was so lovely to be outside in the sunshine enjoying my beautiful city. Sadly, I think I may have misjudged my energy levels this weekend and did one too many things and have now landed myself back in bed utterly exhausted.

Who knew it took so much effort to sit up without cushions for a couple of hours?! Apparently I completely forgot this fact... having spent the last 3 weeks being supported by a small army of soft snuggly cushions. It's the least exhausting way to sit.

My doctor's note runs out tomorrow, so I called the Drs to see what she thinks I should do. Our conversation went a little like this:

Me:Hello. I'm calling because I'm still tired. I know my blood tests were fine but I literally can't do anything for more than 30 minutes without feeling like I've been hit by a bus. I've tried to do things here and there - I'm not just being lazy and lying in bed but everytime I do things I just feel worse and worse.

Dr: Hmmm yes. Well your blood tests came back clear. I think you should go back to work tomorrow.

Me: Sorry, go back to work? But I can't do anything for more than 30 minutes (clearly there was a bad line or something at the start of this conversation)

Dr: Yes, well often when you've had a virus you can be tired... staying home won't help. I think you need to go back to work to take your mind off things.

Me: Err ok ... I'm just so tired though *holds back tears*

Dr: Hmmm yes, well you are a very busy person(Me: Busy?! My life these days is practically dead compared to 3 years ago), training for a marathon (Me: Half Marathon actually... in fact I'd hardly started training babble babble), working as a teaching assistant and your husband has got cystic fibrosis (which has nothing at all to do with how I feel... I'm not his carer)..... Hmm I see here that you saw a counsellor a while ago.

Me: Yes I did when I was having some stress and anxiety issues. I'm not stessed, I'm not anxious *in full on tears*

Dr: I think you're depressed. Come see me this afternoon

The conversation ends with me crying down the phone that I'm not depressed, I'm just frustrated about being stuck at home and feeling tired and having had a rubbish 3 weeks (probably adding fuel to the fire that I'm a crazy).

I am not depressed. This is not in my head.

I've been depressed before, at various points in my life. It's not something I talk about much, but it's a part of who I am. I know what depression feels like - and it's not this.

When I was depressed, I cried literally all the time. About everything and nothing. I hated myself. I cared about no-one and nothing. I didn't clean because I couldn't see the point. I didn't leave the house or spend time with people because I couldn't deal with the thought of having to try and make conversation. I actively lied to people to find ways to avoid spending time with them because I felt so low. I had no motivation. I wanted to curl up in a ball and avoid the world. I didn't want to eat. Everything in my head felt noisy and confused and scary. Nothing made sense.

None of those things reflect who I am at the moment or how I feel.

I am so desperate to spend time with people that I've risked making myself more ill this weekend to do it. I miss my job dearly and would quite like to go back tomorrow in a lot of ways. I've spent all my time off ill chatting to people online because I've been so desperate for human interaction. I would love to do some cleaning but I'm too tired to. I'm desperate to cook a meal but I don't have the energy to get all the way through it. I'm rather happy, chirpy even if you can ignore the frustration of being so tired. I'm eating like a beast. I want to go running and practice yoga. I've let myself get passionate about things again - passionate about activism and politics and the way the world works.

My list could go on and on but in short, I am not depressed and I do not appreciate being told that it's all in my head.

I'm going in for a "proper" appointment this afternoon (this morning was just a phone consultation).

I'm hoping she'll listen to me...

Freedom!

2011-07-02T14:17:00.000+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

Isn't it a gorgeous day?! It would seem that things are on the up - after a stupidly tired start to the day yesterday, my energy levels went up and up and up and today I was feeling pretty much back to normal so we decided to have a lovely walk by the river in the sunshine and a little trip into the centre of York. We don't live far from the city centre (about a 15 minute walk by the beautiful riverside) so it's quite a nice, easy way to spend a Saturday.

The first thing we did was stop off at Costa for a drink - it was craaazy hot and we were both feeling a little dehydrated. I went for what I always go for - a peach iced tea. Cooling, sweet and refreshing :)

After a bit of trundling around and a trip to the bank, we decided it was lunch time! We decided on El Piano which is a pretty awesome vegan, gluten free tapas place - originally we'd been planning to eat in but they seem to have changed their menu and you can't just buy a few bits of mix and match tapas anymore which is a shame.

Instead, we went for the uber bargainous takeaway option - Peter had Dahl, Rice and an Onion Bahji and I went for Cuban Black Beans, Rice and a Corn Fritter. Peter's was actually a lot tastier than mine - mine was a little drier than usual and a bit less limey. All of that for £2.95 each though - can't really go far wrong!

We decided to eat in the Minster Gardens - one of my favourite places in York. It's always a little less busy than the Museum Gardens and doesn't seem to end up so full of tourists. Oddly, York did seem very quiet indeed today - it's normally heaving on a Saturday, especially after payday.

After a bit of shopping (obligatory trips to Holland and Barret and Lush mainly), we figured it was getting a bit too hot and it wasn't worth pushing it and making me ill again so we headed home.

I felt bizarrely grateful for being outside - I found I appreciated York so much more than I normally do. I also seem to feel a little more confident. To be fair, that's something I've decided on whilst I've been ill - I need to stop being so anxious about everything and just relax, enjoy life and engage with the things I'm passionate about!

Questions:
How has your Saturday been?

Do you love the place where you live?

Recipe: Simple Flapjack Topped Pear Crumble

2011-06-29T09:16:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

Somehow this week, I've managed to neglect our bag of pears.... shocking I know. However, it does mean that said bag of pears are now gloriously juicy and perfect for pear crumble making!

First, choose your pear. Admire it, squeeze it (to check for ripeness... obviously), love it and spend some time taking pictures of it in mildly seductive lighting. Next...

Kiss that sweet pear goodbye! Peel it and slice it straight into 2 glass ramekins and cover with a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Next, make your flapjack topping. 1/2 cup of oats, 1 slightly heaped tsp soft dairy free spread (I used Pure Sunflower spread... you can, of course, use a non-dairy free spread if you're that way inclined!) and around a tablespoon of agave (if you don't have agave, and you're not vegan, I'm sure honey would work fine too). Mix it all up with a spoon.

Spoon it into your ramekins making sure your pear is nice and covered. Pop your crumbles in the oven for 15-20 minutes at 180C.

You know your crumble's cooked when your pears have gone soft and juicy in the bottom and the top is a lovely golden brown.

I've been enjoying mine topped with Alpro Soya Vanilla Yoghurt (in fact, I've been enjoying them so much that I even had them for breakfast today!)

So there you go - super quick, ridiculously easy flapjack topped crumble with a fraction of the sugar, fat and faff of your regular crumble experience! Enjoy :)

Things I've learnt whilst I've been ill

2011-06-28T17:37:00.005+01:00

Hello lovelies!

So it turns out I don't have glandular fever (hurrah!) but I do have post-viral fatigue (boo). On the plus side though, I'm feeling about a gazillion times better than I did this time last week so hopefully I'll be able to go back to work next week all refreshed and shiny and new! I'll also (hopefully) have a little more to blog about... when you have zero energy and your days consist of sitting in bed alone, there's not much to blog about. There is, however, much to think about - especially if you happen to have some awesome friends who have kept you company (in an online sense of the word) and engage you in interesting, thought provoking conversation.

I thought today I'd share with you some of the things I've learnt or been thinking about over the past two weeks...

♥ I need to listen to my body
Just do it - and if your body is saying it needs to rest, let it. Don't try to drag yourself into work or try to walk into town or try to cook a meal. Do what it's begging you for and rest. If you don't, you'll only make things worse for yourself.

♥ I say sorry far too much
It's funny how written conversations highlight certain verbal tics far more than spoken ones. I've discovered I pepper my conversations with "I'm sorry" or "I apologise" like you wouldn't believe. Sometimes, I don't even realise I've said it. Most of the time, there's absolutely no reason for saying it. It's ridiculous and it's something I really want to train myself out of.

♥ As much as I can deal with the disappointment of not getting on my GTP, I'm confused about my future
I love being a teaching assistant - I really, really do. But I don't want it to be my career for life. I'm a little confused about where to go next... whether to apply again for teaching or to consider the other options. Sadly, now is not the time to be pondering a career of any sorts - so few jobs for so many people, especially up here in the North.

♥ I don't actually hate London as much as I think I do... in fact, I'd rather like to live (nearer) there
I've always been an active proclaimer of my hatred of London - big, loud, scary, dirty. I think I've been to quick to overlook some of the wonderful things about London. I'd quite like to spend more time exploring.

♥ I've spent the last 5 years of my life dedicated to something I'm not entirely certain I still believe in
Church and God have played a big part in my life since I moved to York and although I've had my wobbles in my faith, I've always had to plough on regardless because it was my job or because I've been so involved. Over the past few months, and especially since I've been ill, I've been able to let some of my questions rise to the surface and had some time to think about them and properly explore them. I've appreciated that. I'm not planning on labelling myself as anything for the time being other than a "thought explorer".... because I feel that's what I need to be for a while :)

♥ My heart's desire is to be vegan
And for once, I've let my heart have its way. When I stepped away from veganism a few years ago, I was never entirely happy with the decision... I mainly did it because too many people were mocking me and, to some extent, bullying me because of it. I regret that move. Peter challenged me to man up and go vegan again and I have. It's been easier than I thought it would...somewhat like getting back on a bicycle after not riding for a few years. He, of course, is still a meat and cheese loving omni.

♥ There's so much more to enjoy in life than I sometimes think there is
I find it very easy to settle into frustrations... I get frustrated about York's lack of culture, about not having balls enough to protest about the things I want to protest about, about not having enough time to take photos or enough time to enjoy books. If I took the time I wasted feeling frustrated, or the time I fritter wandering aimlessly and feeling listless, I'd have so much more time on my hands. Sometimes, you need to open your eyes wide and hunt out the beautiful things :)

♥ I desperately need to man up
I'm scared of crowds, needles, the sea, frogs, getting into trouble, offending people, being forgotten about, failure... the list goes on and on and on. Deal with it woman.

♥ I really, really love running
And I really, really hate not being able to run right now.

♥ Twitter is way more awesome than Facebook
But we all kinda knew that already right?

Question:
What have you learnt this week?

Public Service Announcement: June 30th

2011-06-26T20:00:00.001+01:00

Hello lovelies,

Just a wee break from the norm (and I apologise if this isn't quite relevant to you) to speak about this man:

[Michael Gove: source]

and this day:

[source]

Politics isn't something I generally cover on my blog, but this is something I feel is really rather important. As many of you UK lovelies will know, June 30th is going to be a day of public sector strikes, seeing hundreds of thousands of public sector workers from NUT, PCS, UCU and ALT go on strike against the cuts to pensions being proposed by our government.

My post isn't nessecarily about that (although if you'd like more info about the June 30th plans and how you get involved I recommend visiting this website) but more about what Mr Gove has proposed schools do in order to remain open on Thursday - he's essentially proposing a strike-break and is advising Headteachers to ask Teaching Assistants and Parents to cover the strike. He's even suggested schools "take a break from the National Curriculum" for the day and not "worry about exceeding recommended class sizes".

There are so many issues with this. Firstly, Teaching Assistants - you are not there to teach. Listen to your Unions (and if you're not in a union - join one!) and resist the request. I know it's hard, and I know it'll feel awkward to say no but we must have strength in numbers - even if we can't strike, we can still have solidarity with members of staff who can. If your contract doesn't include the teaching of an entire class and primary responsibility for them, you shouldn't be teaching them.

Secondly, parents. If you aren't CRB checked, you should not be in schools looking after children. It's not just ridiculous - it's plain illegal and it's putting you in danger as much as the children. All it would take is one false accusation and you truly wouldn't have a leg to stand on. Also, please think about what this actually means in terms of standing up to a Government who are making truly ridiculous decisions that will affect not just your life but the lives of your children one day. If you'd really like to help out friends who are struggling for childcare, why not invite your children's friend round to play for the day? I can assure you it's much less stressful for you and much more helpful for the cause.

I know this is a contentious issue and I know that we'll all have our own opinions but I hope that we'll all be able to chose to make the decision that's not just right for us, but for the future of our public sector workers.

Recipe: Vegetarian Paella (Part of Teach Ben How to Cook)

2011-06-24T17:59:00.001+01:00

Aloha!

Welcome to the first post in the Teach Ben How to Cook Series - if you're not sure what this is, read this post. Essentially over the next few weeks and months, I'll be bringing you a range of easy recipes primarily with the aim of teaching my friend Ben how to cook, but also to inspire all of you lovely people to get creative in the kitchen too! I've still got pleanty of places for recipe submission, so if you'd like to Teach Ben How to Cook too, drop me an email (emilybirkinshaw@gmail.com)

Lets get cracking!

Serves 2

Ingredients:
150-200g Paella Rice (or Risotto Rice)
1 Medium Onion
Vegetables of your choice - I've used a medium carrot, some broad beans, a courgette. Other appropriate vegetables include peppers, mushrooms, leeks.
1 Beef Tomatoe (or a couple of smaller ones)
A lemon
Stock Powder (we use Marigold Vegan Reduced Salt Boullion which you can find at most supermarkets)
750ml Boiling Water
Herbs and Spices

First, chop your vegetables. I generally tend to remove the top and bottom of each piece of veg, then cut it in half and slice it into smaller pieces. Try to keep everything a similar size to help it cook through evenly.

Next, take a large non-stick pan or a wok and heat a tablespoon (or a largish glug if you're me) of oil. We use rapeseed but olive oil will work well too! You want to be using a low-medium heat. Let it heat up for a good minute or two and swish it around a little.

Add your onion to the pan and stir, stir, stir. You need to cook the onion until they're soft but not brown. You should hear a gentle hissing type noise but not a loud sizzling. If they start really sizzling, turn the heat down!

Once your onions have softened a little, you can add the rest of the veg with the exception of the tomatoes - save those for later!. Keep stirring regularly to ensure they get evenly coated with oil and exposed to the hot parts of the pan.

Once your vegetables have had a couple of minutes to soften, you need to add your herbs and spices. I added za'tar, cayenne, paprika, herbs d'prov, basil, turmeric and (of course) salt and pepper. If you were going to omit anything I'd say the za'tar, basil and turmeric are the least needed. You probably want around 1 tsp of paprika, herbs d'prov and basil, 1/2 tsp turmeric, 1/4 tsp cayenne and a pinch of za'tar. Salt and Pepper - a good grind of each! Again, stir, stir, stir!

Now you need to add your rice to the pan - make sure your heat is fairly low, that there's still a little oilyness (if it's looking dry, add a smidge more oil) and that you keep stirring. Once your rice is coated in herby, spicey oily goodness you can add your water and 3 tsp stock powder (or a stock cube if that's what you're using). At this point, I also add a little squirt of tomato sauce and a dash of vegan worcester sauce.

Yum! Give everything a good stir, make sure you're on a medium heat and leave it to simmer (tiny bubbles not a ranging torrent of bubbles) for around 10 minutes. You might want to give it the occasional stir but you're basically free to sit down and have a little rest for a bit if you like :)

After 10 minutes, your stock should have reduced a little. Give it another good stir and then place your tomatoes on top - don't stir them in though! Now all that's left to do is pop a lid on it and leave it to cook for another 15-20 minutes. Again, make sure your paella is simmering but not boiling - you don't want your heat so high that you burn the bottom but also don't want it so low that your rice doesn't cook! Don't worry about stirring it or anything for the next 15-20 minutes... it'll sort itself out!

This is roughly how it should look when it's cooked - you'll note mine still had a little water left as I added a bit too much to start with but I solved that by giving it a good stir at the very end and then turning up the heat quite high for the last 30 seconds to a minute.

Dish up and serve with a wedge of lemon to be squeezed over the top before eating!

How can you get involved in Teach Ben How to Cook?
1. Send me recipes (with photos of you cooking them preferably) to be featured and for Ben to give a try
2. Try cooking each of the recipes yourself and send me a photo (and maybe a little sentence or two) to include in the follow up posts that Ben and I will be writing for each recipe. He's going to be sharing his thoughts and experiences as he learns how to cook and it'd be wonderful if any of you wanted to include yours too!

Enjoy!

Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle: Dealing with Disappointment

2011-06-23T08:04:00.002+01:00

Hello Lovelies,

I thought I'd continue my Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle series with a post on how I try to deal with disappointment. So far in the series we've had:
Part One: Catching the Running Bug
Part Two: Thinking Big, Dreaming Big
Part Three: Stop Comparing Yourself

As many of you know, I've dedicated the a significant portion of the last 7 months of my life to the application process for a GTP (Graduate Teaching Programme) but sadly, I've now found out I haven't got on.

Obviously, this is massively disappointing - I've put in lots of effort, I have lots of experience, I've had lots of people telling me how certain they were I'd do it but, for some reason or another, I haven't. But you know what? That's ok - no seriously. I feel calm and peaceful about the whole thing and I thought I'd share a few of my ideas and techniques that have helped me feel that way.

First though, another in my "pictures of Emily to make you laugh" series:

Why yes, yes I am in fancy dress as Siousxie Sioux whilst wearing a Red Nose.... that's how I roll for fancy dress days at the Primary School I work at. The kids were a wonderful mix of terrified and fascinated.

1. It's ok to be hurt and upset
It really, really is. If you're dealing with disappointment take some time to be hurt and upset about it. Have a cry, a shout, whatever you need. But here's the biggy...

2. Don't wallow and don't get bitter
Wise words passed on to me by my friend Ben (aka Ben from Teach Ben How to Cook) and words I really needed to hear. We all have difficult moments in life, some more than others, and whilst it's very important to have a bit of time for grieving, I'd say this was one of the most helpful pieces of advice I was given. I know this is sometimes easier said than done, but even just trying to keep that thought at the forefront of your mind can help.

3. Protect yourself
Ok, now this is maybe a little more controversial and to some people might sound like pure pessimism but let me explain. Throughout this process, I've had people tell me that they think I'll get one - we've had it announced by people at important meetings that we're going to Hull for certain in September. I've had people left right and centre telling me how certain they are that I'll get a place, that I'm definitely going. I think most of those people felt they were being helpful and I don't blame them, I'm not angry with them but the whole way through there's something that I've done - I've lived in "two minds"

What do I mean by that? I mean that whilst I've tried my hardest to maintain the thought that I am definitely going and making arrangements for that (saving money to move house, looking at houses, buying resources, research etc), I have also maintained the idea that we wouldn't be going. I've let myself imagine both and accept both as plausible scenarios. It doesn't mean I've trudged my way through the whole thing being convinced I wouldn't get on, more that I've tried my hardest to keep my feet on the ground.

4. Look for the positives
And try to appreciate them as much as possible. I haven't got on my GTP and we won't be moving to Hull, but there's still so many awesome things that I can be thankful for. I still get to live by the river, I can cycle to the countryside in less than 15 minutes, I get to keep working with kids I utterly love to bits (and with a staff team who are really, really lovely), we've been able to free up some of the money we've saved for a couple of nice treats, I still get to stay in the city where some of my best friends live. Whilst there are a great many negatives (and I'm sure if I made a list, there's a possibility they would outweigh the positives), I'm trying to focus on those positive points as reminders that this moment of disappointment is not the end of the world.

5. Distract yourself
This has been one of the hardest things for me to do actually - being stuck at home on your own ill when you find out the piece of news you'd been dreading isn't the best way to do it. Talk to some of your dearest friends - but make sure that you don't just end up going round in circles. Yes, talk about it, but I want to refer you back to point 2 - don't wallow and don't get bitter. Tearing apart every little minutie of what you did or didn't do will not help at this point. Talk about it and then move on.

Yesterday I had conversations about being best friends with Pat Sharp (he tweeted me 3 times in a day - I'd say we're besties), philosophy, economics, food, skincare, clothing, Kindles.... a whole range of things (much like I would on any other normal days). I think it meant I was able to subconsciously absorb the information in a much calmer (and more entertaining/occasionally hilarious) way than had I kept repeating the same conversation. I often find this actually - I really don't like having to repeat the same (sad) stories to people because I don't think it's a healthy thing to do. If you ever want to know how something's gone, you have to chat to me no more than 24 hours after it because by that point, I'll have lost the will to talk about it ;)

6. Throw yourself into something else
But not something major. I'm not talking immediately applying for your next PHD straight away or anything like that. I mean a small, achievable, enjoyable project. Chances are you've maybe dedicated a lot of your time to whatever it is that's disappointed you (a relationship, a piece of work, an application process etc). It's possible that's been your main focus for weeks, months, maybe even years. Hence, you've maybe not had as much time for the things you love and enjoy as you'd like to have. Blog more, read more, make that dress you've been wanting to make, paint something, draw something. Personally, I've been throwing myself into reading interesting, thought provoking things and also designing Teach Ben How to Cook with Ben (which we hope is going to become an interesting, exciting community grown resource/project). Now is not the time for making any big decisions (although they'll need to be made at some point, I feel it's best to give the dust a little time to settle first) - it's the time to find something simple yet engaging and let yourself get immersed in the enjoyment of it.

7. Treat yourself
Sometimes I wonder if this is a motto of mine for life. I in no way believe that our possessions make us happy, nor that money makes us happy for that matter. A treat can be something as simple as booking an afternoon off work to sit in the park and have a picnic, to go for a long run and leave someone else to do the washing up, to read the rest of that book that you've never quite got round to finishing because you've been so immersed in the process and the stress of it all. When we discovered we weren't going to be moving, we were actually quite excited as it meant we're now able to go to a festival that weekend. We'd actually been a little sad that we weren't able to go to it, so it's been a lovely little treat to use some of the money we'd saved to move house on doing that.

8. Don't get too self involved
You aren't being punished. You're not a failure. Sometimes, things just don't work out. That's rubbish and I am desperately sorry if that's the case, but don't let this destroy your love for other people and your ability to be a friend to them, to support them, to love them. Can you use your anger and frustration in a positive way to help someone else? Do it! Don't let this stop you from helping out and caring about other people.

Phew! Sorry, quite a long post but I hope it helps someone somehow :) As always with this series, I am more than happy to help out in anyway I can, so feel free to drop me an email if you want to chat a little more.

New Series: Teach Ben How to Cook.

2011-06-22T16:36:00.003+01:00

Aloha!

If you've learnt anything over the past few months of reading my blog, I'd hope it'd be that I absolutely adore food. Cooking is one of my passions, especially creating interesting (but accessible) wheat-free vegetarian tasty treats. Hence when I hear a friend can't cook, I weep a little inside.

Cooking for me isn't just a life skill - it's an art form, a social catalyst, a dearly loved friend. So many of my favourite memories come from cooking for others or (at the very least) sharing food with others. But sadly, there's lots of people out there who are terrified by the concept of cooking or, at the very least, who think they can't cook. Tosh and piffle is what I say! I firmly believe that everyone can cook.... even my friend Ben.

Ben is a twitter friend of mine and an all round awesome person but, sob sob, he can't cook. Actually, that's a lie - he can cook two things. Halloumi sandwiches and Marscapone and Oreo Cheesecake. I've promised Ben that I'll not just teach him how to cook but also teach him how to love cooking but I don't want to do it on my own - I want you guys to help out too. (Also, if you're really good, Ben has promised to contribute a recipe of his own... exciting times, no?)

I would love for you to send me your favourite recipe - preferably vegetarian or at the very least easily adaptable to be featured as part of this series. We're not talking your most spectacular fancy schmansy meal here, we're talking the utterly delicious win them everytime meal.

So how can you get involved? Just drop me an email to emilybirkinshaw@gmail.com with your recipe - try to make them as simple to follow as possible and include pictures too if you can. I'll be running the series over the next few weeks/months and featuring your recipes alongside my own! This doesn't need to be a culinary masterpiece - no recipe is too simple or too plain!

Ben will also be giving us regular updates on his cooking escapades and sharing the highs and lows of learning how to fall in love with cooking :)

I'm really looking forward to seeing what we can pull together - a community driven cookery course for everyone to enjoy! Sounds awesome dontcha think?!

A note from my sickbed

2011-06-21T09:59:00.001+01:00

Hello lovelies

Apologies for reusing an old picture but I'd say that this pretty much sums up how I feel today.

I've just got back from the Drs and have been told to take at least another work off week due to a viral infection.... which is most likely glandular fever. I am gutted. I utterly adore my job and I hate the thought of not being there. I have to go for a blood test to have it confirmed as glandular fever, which makes it even worse. I can't stand blood tests - they really stress me out.

It also means no training at all... which makes my looming 10K seem even more intimidating and the prospect of a half marathon in September pretty much terrifying.

So my questions for you today are:
What do you do when you're off ill?
What are you reading/watching at the moment?
Are you scared of needles?

Healthy Living Gathering 2011 - What do you think?

2011-06-18T10:00:00.003+01:00

A few of us have started to investigate the potential to hold a UK healthy living bloggers event (similar to the Healthy Living Submmit that takes place in the U.S) It’s very early days yet, but we wanted to post about it so that we could see how many of you would be interested in taking part!

There are 4 of us trying to organise things at the moment: Emily from Sparkle and Shade, Laura from Keeping Healthy Getting Stylish, Emma from Coming Up Easy and Laura from Box, Run, Eat.

At the moment we are looking at a possible date of the 8th and 9th October 2011.

If you would be interested in attending an event like this please send an email to healthylivinggathering@gmail.com with the following information:

Venue preference: Leeds / Manchester / Nottingham
How much you would be willing to pay for a ticket

We know it will be difficult to find a venue that suits everyone, but we have tried to keep the options as central and affordable as possible. If you'd like to come but can't make that weekend, please still get in touch - the date isn't set in stone, the main thing we need to find out is how many of you would be interested in coming along!

We really hope that some of you would like to join us at an event, it would be lovely to meet you all! This isn’t just restricted to bloggers either, anyone that’s interested could come along.

If you’re on Twitter, make sure you’re following @HLG11 for all the latest info and updates over the next few months.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Emily, Laura, Emma and Laura x

Review: Munchy Seeds

2011-06-17T12:30:00.001+01:00

Hello lovelies,

You may or may not know that I am a snacking fiend! Especially if that snack happens to be salty... I've been known to chow down on 3 bags of crisps in a row. Not a statistic I'm proud of but hey, we all have those crazy days!

Since starting to exercise and look after myself a little more, I've become obsessed with trying to find interesting, healthy and fun ways to snack so I was more than happy to give these Munchy Seeds a try!

How cute is the packaging? They genuinely make me smile every time I look at them! I was sent 5 varieties - Omega Sprinkle, Chilli Mix, Vanilla Mix, Pumpkin Mix and the very exciting new Belgian Chocolate Mix with Apricot! Obviously these little babies are packed with bad boys, and this size is just perfect as a post-workout snack (or in our household, a Dr Who watching snack). I've also been sprinkling some of the savoury ones of salads and the sweet ones on bowls of yoghurt! All the seeds are roasted to bring out a lovely flavour and them mixed up with a range of interesting natural flavours and seasonings.

Omega Sprinkle:
Ingredients: Sunflower Seeds (48%), Pumpkin Seeds (20%), Hemp Seeds (6%), Rape Seeds (6%), Sesame Seeds (6%), Linseed (3%), Flax (3%)
Savoury Sauce: Soyabeans, Sea Salt & Koji (Aspergillus Oryzae)

As the name suggests, this one is packaged with Omega oils - Hemp, Linseed, Flax.... these babies pack a body loving punch :) I love the soya saucy flavouring. Salty and delicious!

Belgian Chocolate Mix with Apricot:
Ingredients: Seeds (Sunflower Seeds 21%, Pumpkin Seeds 5%), Sugar, Cocoa Mass, Cocoa Butter, Whole Milk Powder, Dried Apricot (7%), Glazing Agents (Gum Arabic, Shellac), Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin, rice Flour, Natural Vanilla Flavouring)

I'd be lying if I said these weren't the first packet to be opened and devoured. Far tastier than chocolate covered raisins or peanuts! These went down very well in our household and I can see many more packets being purchased in the future. The only sad thing (if you're a vegan that is) is that they're not vegan :( Would be lovely to see a Dark Chocolate variety in the future....

Pumpkin Mix:
Sunflower Seeds (63%), Pumpkin Seeds (21%), Sesame Seeds (10%)
Savoury Sauce: Soya Beans, Sea Salt, & Koji* (Aspergillus Oryzae)

Fairly simple but tasty all the same. I've found these a little duller than some of the other varieties to eat on their own and have generally used them as a salad sprinkle.

Vanilla Pumpkin Mix:
Pumpkin Seeds (72%), Sugar (24%), Nature Vanilla flavouring (4%)

Ok so 24% sugar doesn't make these the healthiest of snacks but oh my goodness are they tasty! Personally, I could take them being a little less sweet but an excellent, slightly healthier alternative to sweets themselves. Really delicious!

Chilli Mix:
Sunflower Seeds (58%), Sweet Apricot Kernels (19%), Pumpkin Seeds (15%), Savoury Sauce: Soya Beans, Sea Salt, & Koji* (Aspergillus Oryzae), Crushed Chillies (1.3%)

These were probably my favourite of all the ones I tried. The addition of Sewet Apricot Kernals added some interest to the texture and I just loved the chilli kick. They were pretty spicy though so if you're not a fan of heat in your foods I'd give them a miss! For me they were a much healthier alternative to Thai Sweet Chilli crisps :)

You can get Munchy Seeds in all sorts of sizes and some other interesting flavours and varieties too! I've seen them in quite a few supermarkets but you can easily buy the whole range from the Munchy Seeds website.

Have you tried Munchy Seeds before? What did you think?

What's your favourite snack at the moment?

*Disclaimer* I was sent these for review purposes but this has no effect on my opinion. I always give my honest opinion.

Ps Sorry about the really bad pictures... my camera was having an off day and wanted to make everything a little dark and blue.

Recipe: Wheat Free Cookie Pie

2011-06-17T08:01:00.001+01:00

Hello lovelies!

Don't you love it when you come across a recipe that you just have to make?! That's how I felt when I saw Katie's Deep-Dish Cookie Pie on Wednesday. Chickpeas in a cookie pie? Katie is a genius! Then I felt super sad when I discovered I had no chocolate chips, no instant oats, no applesauce and the teeniest amount of sugar! What's a girl to do? Make some tweaks of course!

I used:
1 can chickpeas
1/2 cup porridge oats
1 small banana
1.5 tablespoons rapeseed oil
1/4 tsp bicarbinate of soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup agave syrup
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 bar of Lindt Sea Salt Dark Chocolate

Blend together all ingredients expect chocolate for around 3-4 minutes. Meanwhile, chop your chocolate into rough chunks. Mix with other ingredients using a spatula and transfer to cake pan. Bake at 180C for 20 minutes. Leave to cool for 5-10 minutes before serving! Yum yum!

If I made this again, I'd probably reduce the amount of sugar - it's super super sweet but yummy all the same!

Thanks Katie for the original recipe - you're such an inspiration :D

What's your favourite recipe with an unusual or surprising ingredient?

(PS Sorry for the lack of pictures... it may or not have been devoured by me and Peter in under 12 hours)

Recipe: Bana-nut Mousse filled Chocolate Cups

2011-06-16T16:01:00.003+01:00

Hello lovelies!

A ridiculous name for possibly one of the most delectable treats I've ever concocted in my kitchen. You need to make these. I promise you won't regret it.

Beautiful, no?

First things first, blend a frozen (peeled!) banana with a heaped dessert spoon of peanut butter. I blended mine for around 4-5 minutes until it was thick, whipped and moussey.

Whilst your filling is blending, melt a square or two of your favourite dark chocolate (I went with 1 square of Lindt Seal Salt). Pour into a silicon cupcake mould and swirl around until the edges are coated with chocolatey goodness.

Fill your cupcake mould with your mousse (but don't fill above the line of chocolate!) Pop in the freezer for 15-20 minutes.

When the chocolate has set and the mousse feels a little firm (but not completely frozen) peel back your silicon mould and eat immediately!

Yum yum!

My Top 10 Healthy Lifestyle Tips

2011-06-16T07:00:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

I was recently contacted by the lovely Ali from Total Greek Yoghurt asking if I'd share my Top 10 Tips for living a healthy lifestyle to link in with their Fit 4 Summer campaign. Of course, I was more than happy to agree - if I can help inspire someone to live a healthier, happier life I'm a happy bunny indeed!

1. Eat more fruit and veg!

It's simple, it's obvious but we all need to hear it from time to time. Eating more fruit and veg will help you to feel healthier - I promise. We get a big organic veg box delivered once a week and then top up with other seasonal fruit and veg! While you're at it, why not try...

2. Cut down on wheat and introduce some new, exciting carbs and grains into your life

We're a nation guilty of chowing down on too much wheat, which has a tendancy to lend itself to sluggishness and bloating. Cutting out wheat changed my life dramatically but I'm not suggesting you cut it out all together. Just try some of the interesting alternatives out there - something like my Curried Quinoa Salad is a flavoursome introduction into the world of alternative grains!

3. Find the exercise that works for you!

If your face looks like this when you think about going to that exercise class or putting on your trainers for a run, why not take a couple of minutes to think about whether you've made the right choice of exercise. We're all completely different, and that's awesome so surely it follows that we'll all enjoy different ways of exercising! Do you hate being alone? Why not try a team sport? Don't like to focus on one thing? Try training for a Triathlon! Don't like high impact exercise? Try pilates or yoga! Mix and match and find what works for you - not what works for the lady over the road or the man in the gym! (In case you're wondering - this was taken midway through a 32 mile bike ride.... I was happy but hungry!)

4. Stop Comparing Yourself!

This is something I'm really big on right now - the comparison trap isn't healthy or helpful. I've written a longer post about this here if you want some extra tips on how to stop being a chronic comparer!

5. Eat Breakfast!

Just man up and do it. It's SO important to eat a good, healthy breakfast - and don't let yourself get stuck in the rut of toast or cereal. The recipes tab at the top of this page has lots of interesting yummy breakfast ideas, as do lots of other blogs out there. Put in 15 minutes of research and plan yourself a week of new breakfasts - I promise you that you won't be disappointed!

6. Learn to love yourself

And more important, learn to laugh at yourself! You are awesome, unique and truly wonderful. When you learn how to accept that, it'll be a heck of a lot easier to live a happy, healthy life. That doesn't mean becoming arrogant or self involved. Instead, learn how to accept yourself the way you are, accept that and enjoy being you. We all have down days and that's ok, but it's so important to try to learn some self respect! If you really struggle with that, ask someone (a good friend, a counsellor... whoever you feel comfortable talk about it with) for help. There's no shame in asking for help :)

7. Treat Yourself

Healthy living isn't about restricting and punishing yourself - a healthy lifestyle is one that's joyful and rewarding to live! When I plucked up the courage to enter a half marathon, I treated myself to a new pair of running shoes. When I'm getting grumpy about being wheat free, I go mess around in my kitchen and treat myself with some delicious new cake/cookie/brownie. When I've done a tough run, I reward myself with a chocolate pear recovery shake, a shower and a sit down with some of my favourite blogs. Treats don't have to be expensive or big - they can be any little thing that makes you happy!

8. Rest and relax

This is so, so, so important. Our bodies aren't made to work non-stop. Find yourself getting ill or injured a lot? Rest. In my previous job, I frequently worked 80 hour weeks. I ended up in hospital with stress age 22. I ended up on medication and in counselling for anxiety issues. And you know how I could have prevented that? By resting. I see so many bloggers who do three, sometimes 4 intense workouts a day with no rest days - it's not healthy and in the long run is going to do you more harm than good. Schedule in at least one rest day a week (and not just from exercise - from work too) and stick to it. I promise you that the rest of your week will be easier and more effective if you just learn to relax and chill out once a week :)

9. Dream big dreams and take a risk

When I first decided I wanted to run, it was a huge risk - would I make myself ill again? Would I be able to do it? Would everyone laugh at me? But if we never took risks, life would be pretty boring. Challenge yourself to do something you never thought you'd do - you might enjoy it more than you think! Maybe try reading my Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle posts for a bit more advice on dreaming big and taking risks if you need a bit more inspiration :)

10. Read, Read, Read!
Since decided to embrace a healthier lifestyle, I've devoured blogs and books like you wouldn't believe! Here are some of my favourites:

Books - How to Run by Paula Radcliffe, any of Anita Bean's books on Nutrition, Runners World Complete Book of Women's Running

Magazines - Womens Running, Runners World and Zest

Blogs - ohsheglows.com, sweettoothrunner.com, http://www.keepinghealthygettingstylish.com, bangsandabun.com, britchickruns.com and about a zillion more!

I definitely recommend you check out Total's Fit 4 Summer campaign as well - there's lots of extra tips and exercises there too :)

Question:
What are your top 10 tips for healthy living? Feel free to do your own post and pop it in the comments!

Also - competition time!
If you fancy the chance to win a month's supply of Total Yoghurts, why not head over here? Easy peasy lemon squeezy :)

What I Ate Wednesday {1}

2011-06-15T20:30:00.000+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

Today I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and do my first What I Ate Wednesday :)

Breakfast:

A rather delicious mix of Choc-o-Nut Cereal, Alpro Vanilla Soya Yoghurt, frozen strawberries and blueberries and some organic shredded coconut. For some reason this looks titchy but it was actually fairly epic!

Lunch:

Big salad of organic lettuce, organic beef tomatoes, 1/2 organic avocado. mushrooms, some pumpkin mix Munchy Seeds, hummus and a little agave/lemon/black pepper dressing :) I was trying to cram in as many nutrients as I could without much effort to try and make myself feel a little more well!

Snacks:

2 fruity chocolate mousse cups! Blended together 1 banana, 1/4 cup coconut, 1/4 cup frozen strawberries and blueberries, 2 tbsp cocoa for around 5-8 minutes until thick and fluffy and then popped in the freezer for 20 minutes for a nice little chocolate mousse style snack.

Some more hummus and a bag of Ready Salted Walkers baked for a little carby pick me up... I was desperately craving salt by mid-afternoon!

Wheat Free Cookie Dough cake! I'll bring you my recipe later in the week but it's loosely based on this

Tea:

Using up the leftover chilli from a few nights ago to make some yummy Veggie Chilli Tacos again :)

What have you munched today?

What are you craving at the moment?

Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle Part Three: Stop Comparing Yourself

2011-06-15T07:00:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies! How are you today? Thought I'd share a picture of me from a friend's wedding that makes me laugh far too much!

Sexy, no? If that doesn't make you chuckle... I honestly don't know what will.

Today I'm going to continue the Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle series that I started a little while back. If you don't know what I'm talking about, this is the series so far:
EAHL Part One: Catching the Running Bug
EAHL Part Two: Thinking Big, Dreaming Big

Today I want to talk about something that I'm really guilty of doing all the time. It's not a healthy habit, and it's one that I'm trying my hardest to lay to one side in order to live a healthy, happy life.

I'm a chronic comparer.

I compare myself to everyone I meet, see or interact with. I don't even have to think about it, I just do it. Most of the time, I conclude that they are prettier/thinner/cleverer/wiser/cooler/better than me. I convince myself that I'm an utter idiot and that I've got on their nerves before they've even had a chance to know me. I manage to convince myself that if I were that person, my life would be a lot more awesome and a heck of a lot easier.

You know what though? It has got to stop.

You see, being a chronic comparer does you no good if your aim is to have a happy, healthy life. In fact, if I'm going to live my life constantly striving to be someone else, I might as well stop now because its never going to happen. I am who I am and that is that. Yes, I can make some changes here and there - a more defined upper body by working that area out a little more, a slightly faster pace by introducing a little speed work but at the end of the day, I am me and that's ok :) In fact it's more than ok - it's awesome!

The other truly awful thing about being a chronic comparer is that it shows zero respect or love to the person you're comparing yourself to. It makes you jealous of them, anxious about talking to them - heck it can even make you forget that this superhuman you're comparing yourself to isn't actually a superhuman at all, just a normal human being with their own share of trouble and strife. Instead of loving, supporting and encouraging them, chronic comparers end up being pretty mean about the people we call our friends. Even if it's only in your own head, that grumpy jealousy isn't nice!

So what am I going to do? I'm going to lay my chronic comparison to bed and I've got a couple of tools to help me do it:
1. When I see something I admire about another person, I will complement them on it
2. If I find myself starting to compare myself or worry about not being that person, I'll remind myself that I am who I am and that's just plain awesome (I might even have to resort to carrying around a picture of myself in that moustache...)
3. If the thing I'm comparing is a reasonable goal, I will try to introduce it into my lifestyle. So for example: I notice that a friend eats waaay more fruit and veg than I do. Instead of getting jealous and beating myself up, I'll head to the shops, buy some fruit and veg and eat it! Makes sense doesn't it?!

Ta-daaaa, easy as one-two-three!

Are you a chronic comparer (or a recovered chronic comparer)?

What steps can you introduce to stop yourself falling into the trap?

Recipe: Chocolate Pear Recovery Shake

2011-06-14T19:57:00.001+01:00

Hey lovelies :)

I'm still feeling kinda ill today hence the bulk of my food has been in liquid form or cereal (I've had 2 helpings of my Choc-o-nut Cereal today - haven't had it for a while and I'd forgotten how addictive it is!).

The main thing I've been craving though has been my Chocolate Pear recovery shake - this is what I normally drink when I get back in from a run or a workout but today I wanted it purely for being easy, simple and nutritious.

Peel, core and chop a ripe pear and pop into your blender. I like to use Sainsbury's Basics or Tesco Kids pears - they seem to change with the season but are always really reasonable (around 79p for a bag of 5 or 6) and really delicious :)

Measure out 3/4 glass of your favourite milk. I always use soya milk because I can't stand the taste of dairy and I find other milks (oats, rice, almond) etc too expensive. Feel free to use what works for you though :)

To this add 1 tsp hemp powder (I use Naturya Organic Hemp Protein Powder which has a whopping 50g protein per 100g), 1 tsp cocoa powder, 1 tsp peanut butter and 1-2tsp Agave depending on how much of a sweet tooth you have. I just go for a generous squeeze! Pop the lid on and blend on high for 1 or 2 minutes. Serve and enjoy!

Guest Blogging!

2011-06-14T07:04:00.001+01:00

Hello lovelies!

Yesterday was a super exciting day as I wasn't featured on one other awesome blog but two! So exciting, especially as they're 2 utterly amazingly blogs :)

First I was featured on by the lovely Claire over at Big Beauty Blog sharing a little more of the story of why I went wheat free and how that changed my life - it's a pretty amazing story even if I do say so myself :)

I'm also this week's featured athlete over at the truly inspiring blog of Emma from Sweet Tooth Runner.

Do pop over and give them a read, leave some comment love and if you're not already, follow these fabulous ladies!

What are your favourite blogs at the moment?

Have you ever been featured on a blog other than your own?

Recipe: Veggie Chilli (and Tacos!)

2011-06-13T21:38:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies!

Hope you're all having a wonderful start to the week. I'm feeling a little ill for some reason so I decided to make one of my favourite comfort foods this evening - chilli and tacos! The best thing about this recipe is that it makes enough for 2 meals for 2 so we always freeze half for later in the week. It's also packed full of protein and vegetables! Yum yum :)

First, chop your veggies! Today I used a small onion, 3 big mushrooms, 1/2 big yellow pepper and 1/2 a massive organic courgette! I'd normall throw in 2 cloves of garlic too but we're all out. Boo!

Heat a little oil and then saute your veg over a medium heat. I generally start with my onion, then garlic. After they're nice and soft I add the mushrooms and once they're slightly browned I add the courgette and peppers.

Next add some soya mince (I used 25g of Granose dry soya mince soaked in 130ml of veg stock for 2 minutes) and your herbs and spices.

As always, I recommend you play around to find a herb and spice combination that works for you. Today I used herbs d'prov, za'tar, cumin seeds, ground coriander, cayenne, ground cumin, dill, lots of paprika, basil, vegan worcester sauce, salt and pepper. I also sneaked in a little squirt of tomato ketchup.

Now add a tin of chopped tomatoes (we use Sainsbury's Organic) and a tin of your favourite beans (I'm in love with Borlotti Beans at the moment!). Simmer for 15-20 minutes to let the flavours infuse. Pop your tacos in the oven for the last 2 or 3 minutes until they're warm and slightly brown and you're good to go!

I served our tacos with soured cream, grated mature cheddar (we always have mature - you need so much less cheese for so much more flavour) and a quick home made guacamole (chopped avocado, chopped super ripe beef tomato, a splash of lemon juice and a dash of cayenne).

To make this vegan, swop the sour cream for a little veganaise or home made faux sour cream and swop the cheese for nutritional yeast flakes of soya cheeze.

Deeelicious! Enjoy!

Achieving the (not so) impossible

2011-06-12T18:40:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies!

I've told you before how much I love my New Balance.... they seriously rock my world and it was with their help that yesterday, I achieved the (not so) impossible.

I ran 4 whole miles without stopping... that's the longest continuous run I've ever done. I never got that far in my 10k training last year, and I'd stopped for a walking break way before that in my 10k race last year too.

I'd been slacking off for ages with my training because I was so stressed about my interviews and yesterday I decided enough was enough!

4 miles has always been an elusive number for me.... it involves just a bit more stamina and a bit more perseverance. It's a scary sounding distance for "proper" runners... well not any more! I conquered it!!

I am by no means a fast runner - I average somewhere between 10.15 and 11.35 per mile most of the time but that's ok. I enjoy and and I know that the more I run, the easier it'll get and the faster I'll become.

I remember the days when running just 1 mile made me feel like I was going to die - now I can finish 4 miles feeling strong and powerful. It's a funny little thing but it's made the Great North Run in September feel a heck of a lot more achievable!

What have you done recently that you previously thought impossible?

Recipe: Curried Quinoa Salad

2011-06-11T10:45:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies!

Normal service on Sparkle and Shade will be slowly resuming over the next few weeks - my interviews for my GTP took place earlier this week and I'll be hearing back on the 20th whether I have a place in a school or not so I'm nowhere near as stressed out as I was. Hopefully that means I'll be able to focus a little more on a blogging and exercising and a little less on a silly cycle of stress!

Today I'm going to be sharing my current favourite lunch - Curried Quinoa Salad! It was Kate from Embrace Nutrition that tipped me off on the yumminess of Quinoa and now I'm a bit addicted to it. It's like a yummier, wheat free version of cous cous but it also has super powers - it's utterly packed with protein! This serves makes around 3 large portions or 4 medium :)

First, chop a small onion and a clove of garlic and saute them over a medium heat in a little olive or rapeseed oil.

Now add 1 cup of quinoa and stir until the quinoa smells slightly toasted and is coated in a little oil.

Next add two cups of water, 1.5 teaspoons of stock powder (I used Marigold Bouillion) and a tin of your favourite beans/pulses (I like to used borlotti or black eye beans but I'm sure chickpeas or green lentils would work well too)

Simmer over a medium heat and add your herbs and spices! I don't really measure but I'd say I use around 1/2-1 tsp of each: cumin seed, cayenne (maybe a little more like 1/4 tsp), tumeric, garam masala, dill, ground coriander, basil, galangal (not pictured - it's a bit like ginger) and za'tar. I also add a good grind of salt and pepper. As always, I recommend you play around with the seasonings and go with what works for you!

Give it a good stir and then add around 1/4 cup each of shredded coconut and flaked almonds.

Next chop your veggies - it's your choice of what you have. I tend to go with a delicious organic beef tomato, 1/4 of a cucumber and a whole grated carrot. If I'm feeling flash, I sometimes add a little organic radish (SO much nicer than normal radishes), avocado or courgette too.

Your quinoa should be cooked after about 15 minutes - make sure you give it regular stirs and add a little extra water if nessecary. You'll know it's finished when it sort of splits open into lovely fluffy grains and all the water is gone - it shouldn't need draining. When it's cooked, turn off the heat and stir in your veggies. I also add a splash of vegan worcester sauce for an extra little lift.

Ta-da!

Utterly delicious - I strongly advise you have a play around and make this! It takes less than 20 minutes from start to finish and is filled with delicious nutritious yumminess! Enjoy :)

Where have I been?

2011-05-30T11:19:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies? It's been a while I know :) Life has sort of ceased to exist whilst my interviews for GTP places have been rolling in ... I got very stressed indeed and have spent most of my evenings collapsing in an exhausted heap and just crying from the stress of it all. But never fear - 8 days until my interviews and 21 days until I find out if I have a school placement :) And despite the stress of it all, I'm rather happy and content.

We've spent the last few days just resting and relaxing - important things to do from time to time. And cleaning - soooo much cleaning. Just trying to get the house prepared for the possibility of moving in a few months.

And, as you can see above, I got my hair cut.... short. What do you think?

I hope you're all well - I'll be updating a little more once this whole stress inducing process is over I imagine :)

Love xx

I've made myself a new skirt :)

2011-05-02T11:48:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies!

I hope you're enjoying yet another lovely day :) This morning I decided to raid my fabric stash and make myself a new skirt. I had two long piece of beautiful material that were begging to be made into a skirt, albeit a slightly odd one :) Here's what I made:

I added the green ribbon a)to keep it up and b) to add an optional splash of colour. I only have green ribbon in the house but I might change it to a pretty deep red when I can get to into town :)

Not too bad for 30 minutes sewing don't you think?

Hair Cut Quandry

2011-05-02T09:28:00.002+01:00

Hello lovelies!

I don't know about you, but when it feels like summer's coming, all I want to do is get a hair cut! I get my hair cut pretty infrequently - maybe 2 or 3 times a year most of the time, and for the past few years, my hairstyle has been pretty much the same. Below shoulder length, side fringe or full fringe with varying degrees of choppyness depending on how close it is to my wedding.

However, after umpteen years of the same hair style, I'm thinking of a change - maybe some sort of bob? I'm not really sure. I'd love it if you could help me work out it (especially since you were all so awesome at giving me some amazing clothes suggestions a while back - you're all much better at this sort of thing than me). To help you with the process, I'm going to show you a really terrifying picture of my naked face to help you get an idea of my face shape (also, answers on a postcard for what kind of shape it is - the closest we've come is sqoval.... like a square oval).

*shudders* There's my scary naked face for you. Sorry about the eyebrows. Also - I do have a chin.... photobooth just chose to make it look like my neck instead.

Here's the sort of thing I'm thinking of but I'm open to being told "Don't do it - you'll look like a fat tomato" and being given alternatives :D

Thanks in advance for being awesome - you guys rock my world <3 xx

PS If you live in York (or nearby) please feel free to recommend me a hairdresser as well - I've never quite managed to settle on one :/

Review: Lush Street Party Ballistic

2011-04-29T08:56:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies! Today I'll be bringing you a review of something very exciting indeed - the Street Party ballistic by Lush!

This is a limited edition reissue of an old favourite of mine, and it's utterly divine, if a bit mad. It's got a gorgeous cognac, orange and lime scent - to me it's like a cross between Big Blue and Christmas Party/Bob Soap. It's the sort of scent that I associate with Lush from when I first shopped with them (about 13 years ago) - fresh but wonderfully complex.

When you first look at it, you'd be forgiven for mistaking it for a slightly boring off white ballistic with black vanilla seeds in. That couldn't be much further from the truth - this ballistic is pack with gold, red and blue glitter, little pink confetti hearts, streamers and a little Union Jack flag or two. Amazing!

If you're looking for a fun way to celebrate the Royal Wedding, or looking for a mildly amusing way to entertain yourself whilst trying to avoid it, I suggest you dash out to Lush while you can and pick one of these up.

I'm secretly hoping that both Kate and William bathed in one of these today and will arrive at the Wedding caked in glitter - now that would most definitely be a wedding to remember!

£2.95 from Lush for a limited time only!

I'm also pretty certain that non of Kate and William's guests will get to have as much fun as ours did - we had a fancy dress box, a puppet show mid service, stickers, colouring and lots and lots of sweeties. *queue a gazillion pictures from our wedding*

(Best bridesmaids ever?!)

What have I done?!

2011-04-26T18:34:00.002+01:00

Hello lovelies!

That's the question I am very firmly asking myself today... What have I done to myself? I seem to have become a full on, hardcore running lover. The evidence:

1. I ran on holiday

Not only that, but I did hill training, a bit of trail running and runs in blazing hot sun and terrifying wind on holiday. Hard. Core.

2. I very almost advised someone on running shoes in Sports Direct today.

[source]

And now I'm kicking myself that I didn't as I'm almost certain the shoes he bought weren't right for him.

3. I get excited about things like protein powder, sports drink tablet samples and running socks.

I got a sample of High 5 zero tablets with my Women's Running magazine this month and I've quite enjoyed them, especially whilst the weather has been so warm as a way of making sure I'm properly hydrated. I also picked up some Naturya Hemp Protein Powder from Holland and Barrett today so I'll be bringing you a cheeky review of that soon I'm sure :)

4. I set obscene goals for myself and do things without thinking....

Like today.... when I entered the ballot for the Virgin London Marathon 2012. I won't find out until October if I have a place or not, but still... What on earth have I done?! :D

Do you ever find that your obsessions make you do crazy things?

What made you realise that you were truly in love with running?

Spring is Here!

2011-04-22T11:57:00.001+01:00

Hello lovelies!

Yes, I know, stating the obvious but spring has officially arrived in the Sparkle and Shade household for one reason and one reason only - our organic veg box delivery no longer contains swede and celeriac! Hallelujah! I am not a root veg loving girl.... the odd potato or carrot here and there is fine, but generally speaking, not a fan. Too stodgy and not enough like a vegetable for my liking! Let me share with today's beautiful delivery:

Oooo what could be lurking in there? (Apologies for all the shadows - crazy sun!)

A big, beautiful cauliflower!

Some yummy red skinned potatoes!

A super cute butternut squash!

Some delicious muddy carrots and lovely little onions!

An epicly huuuuge bunch of pak choi!

And a beastly bunch of Spring Greens!

I am so, so, so excited about this box of veg - it's one of the best we've had for a while! Spring greens and pak choi are vegetables I've not really cooked with much either, so it's a good excuse to find some new delicious recipes.

Despite the fact that winter was a hard slog, I really do love our veg box - it's supporting a local farmer, it forces us to eat seasonally and introduces us to vegetables we wouldn't normally buy. We pay £8.50 a week for a small veg box and that's more than enough for the two of us eating a vegetarian diet (we sometimes buy some extra mushrooms or peppers but that's about it). If you're York based, I definitely suggest you check out SB Organics :)

Do you have an organic veg box delivered? If not, would you like to/what puts you off?

What are your favourite recipes featuring the ingredients in this week's veg box?

Goodbye old friends, hellllo new!

2011-04-21T15:34:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies!

Today is a wonderful, wonderful day - I've got some new friends in my life, but it means I have to say goodbye to some old ones.

What on earth am I talking about?! Running shoes of course! Meet my old friends:

These are the only pair of trainers I've ever owned. I think I got them when I was about 14 and needed some trainers for school or something. They were about £12 from our village shoe shop. They've not been bad, and I wore them through my 10k training last year and for my 10k race last year but since starting training this year I can tell that they're getting old and I've been getting a bit of shin and knee pain which I reckoned was down to a lack of support.

Hence I trudged off to my local running store Up and Running in York and had my gait analysed on a treadmill with a snazzy video thingy. I'm a mild overpronator and I have a fairly heavy heel strike. I definitely, definitely recommend going to a proper running store to get fitted for shoes - you might have a vague idea what your running style is, but I'd much rather get an expert opinion! Also, if you're lucky and your store is run by running legends like mine is, they'll probably give you some training advice too!

I ummed and ahhhd about whether to get them in the store or online but seeing as I'd completely forgotten which shoes they were anyway, I decided to go back to the store itself because, if I'm honest, it was love at first sight with those shoes :) *Queue a gazillion pictures*

How pretty are those inners?! Decorated with the Breast Cancer Ribbon because of the work New Balance does with Susan G. Komen for the Cure

Funky laces!

Ahhhh, aren't they just beautiful? If you're wondering, they're the New Balance 760 which is technically last season so a little harder to find (this season's replacement is the 860 if you're wondering :) )

Now all that's left to do is actually run in them and I have to say I can't wait! It's taking all my willpower not to just head out there right now on a full stomach!

What shoes do you run in?

Recipe: Saag Paneer

2011-04-20T17:15:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies! As promised, here's how to turn your leftover Bolognese into a delicious Saag Paneer.

First off, pop a 1/4 inch of fresh ginger in your food processor with just under 1/2 cup of (soya) milk.

Now, loosely fill your food processor with yet more spinach (anyone getting a sense of deja vu?!) Pop the lid on and blend for around 2 minutes (sorry, I forgot to take a picture!)

Now, chop up half a block of paneer (or extra firm tofu if you're vegan) into cubes and fry in a little oil with a sprinkle of mustard seeds, cumin seeds, black pepper, a bit of grated ginger, some cayenne pepper (vary according to how spicy you like your curry), a pinch of za'tar (optional), a quick grind of sea salt and around 1/2 tsp of garam masala until slightly browned.

Now you can add your leftover sauce and your new milky spinach mixture - don't be alarmed if it looks a little watery - you're going to simmer it uncovered for 10 minutes whilst you cook your rice! Make sure you stir it every so often as those lentils love to stick!

Finally, add three drops of lemon juice and then dish up and eat straight away with some good quality mango chutney on the side! Not the prettiest of dishes but it sure is tasty!

Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle Part Two: Thinking Big, Dreaming Big

2011-04-19T20:31:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

I'm a big believer in dreaming big - if we don't dream big, we have nothing to aim for. I always have a gazillion different big dreams running around my mind and I'm never quite sure which will stay as dreams or which will become a reality, but you know what? That's exciting. I love that about my life!

Dreaming big is what keeps me motivated and keeps me strong when I'm flagging in my choice to live a healthier lifestyle. It was dreaming big that meant I entered that very first 10k, and dreaming even bigger that resulted in entering a half marathon.

I dream big every time I make a delicious meal - I imagine how wonderful I want it to taste, I spend time thinking about the combinations of flavours and textures, I spend a significant amount of my day dreaming about how to make nutritious but delicious meals for me and my husband.

Dreaming big is what motivates me when I run. I tell myself that I'm strong and that I can do it. I imagine myself crossing the finish line of the Great North Run. I think about how good running is for my body and I think of how all that cardio exercise is pumping my heart and burning off the love handles.

Thinking big and dreaming big allows me to set goals to work towards. At the moment, my goals are:
♥ Finish the Run for All 10k in sub 60 (shaving 13 minutes off last year's race....)
♥ Finish the Great North Run in 2 hours
♥ Loose the extra three quarters of a stone that I've gained since getting married
♥ Keep eating healthy, keep cutting out gluten wherever possible, keep moving towards a more vegan diet
♥ Run a marathon in 2012..... this one scares the heck of out me, but I want to do it!

What are you dreaming big about at the moment?

What goals are you working towards?

Recipe: Spinach, Lentil and Mushroom Spaghetti Bolognese

2011-04-19T18:35:00.000+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

Another recipe for you - today I'm going to teach you how to make a super tasty, ultra healthy vegetarian "bolognese" type sauce and then tomorrow, I'm going to teach you how to use the leftovers to make a delicious Saag Paneer inspired dish! Don't say I don't spoil you :D The sauce is wonderfully rich and creamy and oh so very delicious!

This recipe will make enough for 4 medium sized servings - we used two of our servings for this and saved the other two for the Sag Paneer. All measurements are approximate and I most definitely encourage you to experiment with herbs and spices :)

First, pop 2 big garlic cloves (or 4 small ones) and a small red onion (chopped in half) into your food processor.

Next, add in a couple of big handfuls of spinach, until your food processor is loosely filled.

Finally, pour in a whole tin of chopped tomatoes.

Now put the lid on and blend for a minute or two until it looks like this.

Meanwhile, heat a little oil in a medium pan and saute 4-6 mushrooms until slightly browned

Now you can add your sauce in along with around 1/3 to 1/2 cup of (washed) red lentils.

Stir these in, then add a little water to your processor bowl and add that in to your sauce as well. At this point, you can also add your seasoning! I added around 1tsp Marigold Vegan Boullion (stock) powder, a few dashes of vegan worcester sauce, freshly ground pepper, around 1 tsp basil and the same of herbs d'provence and a teeny tiny pinch of cayenne.

Cover with a lid and leave to simmer on a low heat, stirring occasionally, for around 25 minutes until the lentils are soft and yummy.

Serve this on top of your favourite cooked pasta (mine is Gluten Free Spaghetti tossed in a little olive oil) topped with a sprinkle cheese, or you could always mix it with some cooked pasta, pop it in a baking dish, top with a little cheese and bake for 20 minutes for a lovely pasta bake!

Recipe: Banana Peanut Oaty Breakfast Cake

2011-04-18T18:09:00.001+01:00

Hello Lovelies!

This yummy cake is heavily based on this cake by the lovely Sweet Tooth Runner but with a few little tweeks and additions :)

First measure out 1/2 cup of normal porridge oats (I used Quaker because we had them in but I normally go for Tesco's Scottish Style)

Pop them in the blender and blend until they're smaller but not powdery like flour

Transfer your oats to a bowl and then put about 1/3 cup back into the blender. Blend these into a fine floury powder and then add them back into the bowl with the rest of the oats. (You can skip this step if you already have oat flour in!)

Take a large ripe banana, break it into chunks and add it to your blender bowl, along with a big heaped dessert spoonful of peanut butter, a tablespoon of jam (I use a no added sugar four Fruits jam) and a quick squeeze of Agave.

Blend until smooth.

Now add 1/2 cup of soya milk, blend quickly again until mixed!

Add about 1 teaspoon of cocoa to your oats, then add in your liquid mixture and mix together.

Pour into a cake tin and bake for around 10-15 minutes on 200-210C.

Remove from the oven, leave for 5-10 minutes, cut into slices and munch munch munch!

You can eat it as it is, or with a little extra jam on orrr (if you're feeling really naughty) with a little Nutella spread ontop!

This morning I got really exciting and added a handful of frozen blueberries before I pour the mixture into the cake tin - it was delicious!

I'm dreaming up all sorts of possibilities for this - tomorrow I think I might try it with thinly sliced pear and a little cinnamon layer on the bottom before I pour in the mixture. Yum yum :)

Enjoy :D

Review: St Tropez SPF 20 Medium Protection for Body with Tan Enhancer

2011-04-18T10:48:00.000+01:00

Hello Lovelies! Isn't it beautifully sunny?! I'm absolutely loving the British weather at the moment and I've been more than happy to drag my shorts, skirts and summery dresses out of their winter hibernation!

Sadly though, sunshine also means something else - sun tan lotion. I am a firm hater of sun tan lotion. Most of the proper lotions smell funny and leave me sticky and the dry sprays make me look weirdly shiny and smell just... odd. I know that it's super important to wear it, and I tend to grin and bare it but it's never a very enjoyable experience.

However, I thought I'd give St Tropez the benefit of the doubt when they offered to send me something from their new Sun Tan Lotion range and I haven't been disappointed - in fact, I think I'm in love!

For a start, how gorgeous is that packaging? A beautiful matte gold squeezey tube which means you're in control of how much product you get out and doesn't leave you frantically whacking the bottom of a half empty bottle on your sunlounger to get out the last of the product from a hard plastic bottle. Lovely

But what about the lotion itself? It's beautiful. It has a wonderful, summery, slightly floral scent and is nice and light but still very moisturising. It sinks into the skin easily and leaves no sticky residue or white streaks behind (always a good thing). This is the medium protection (which is about right for me as I have Olive undertones and don't really burn) but they also have SPF 30 for those of you who are a bit fairer.

But the really clever thing is the inclusion of Melanobroze, a special ingredient which gently stimulates the body's own melanin production and helps to enhance your tan. A definitely bonus for those of us who love to get a tan and maybe avoid the sun tan lotion in fear of not tanning (which is a silly thing to do - saving yourself from skin cancer is far more important than having a lovely tan!). I have to say, I think I've tanned a lot quicker than I normally would - ever my super pasty Husband (who I've been slathering in this as part of my super precise scientific experiment) seems to have a bit more colour than normal.

I'll definitely be repurchasing this when my bottle runs out - I think I've found my Sun Tan Lotion Holy Grail!

£20.00 from St Tropez

*Disclaimer* I was sent this product as a PR sample

Blog Sale

2011-04-18T09:08:00.011+01:00

Hello lovelies!

If you read this post the other day, you'll know that I feel the door has closed on the possibility of working as a freelance MUA and I'm focusing all my energy (career-wise) on teaching at the moment. Soooo I thought I'd do a super dooper blog sale with some of my kit bits that I'd invested in as well as some other bits that I have lying around an need to get rid of.

As it's half term at the moment, I'll be able to send out parcels quickly, but please be aware that if you buy something after this Thursday (21st April) it might take me a while to post your parcel as I work nowhere near a post office :)

Terms and Conditions:
♥ Postage to the UK is £2 for the first item (unless otherwise stated) and then 50p for every item after that
♥ Paypal only
♥ Items will be sent first class
♥ Items sold as seen
♥ Leave a comment with what you're interested in and your email address in the comment section
♥ First come, first served :)
♥ All items have either been used twice at the most or only swatched unless otherwise stated.
♥ I'm very open to offers so if you see something you like but can't quite afford it, try making one :)
♥ Uk only

*Edit* Been through and edited a few prices plus added the seemingly unshiftable set of Aromaleigh samples... please, please someone buy it!

1. Nike+ Sports watch (with foot pod and original box - not pictured) £23 plus £3 postage

2. Graftobian HD Pro Powder Palette - £15 (plus £2.50 postage - this is super heavy!)

3. Clinique Almost Makeup 01 Fair (bought from blogsale, too light for me) - £4 SOLD

4. ELF Mineral Lipstick in Natural Nymph £1.50

5. NYX Round Lipstick in Harmonica £1.50

OR both for £2.50

6. Yaby Freestyle Palette with 13 eyeshadows/pearl paints (shade numbers available on request), 5 cream foundations in Honey, Vanilla, Buff, Peach and Almond Butter, 3 concealers in Buff, Vanilla and Ivory (only ever used with clean, disposable spatulas apart from Ivory concealer used with clean concealer brush) Usage as shown. £40 RESERVED FOR BETIXTBEAUTY

7. No7 Limited Edition Natural Radiance Highlighter £5 SOLD

8. ELF Mineral Booster in Sheer £1.50

9. MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural in Light Medium. Usage as shown. £5 SOLD

10. MAC Paint in Untitled £5

11. MAC Matte Primer £6 SOLD

12. MAC Quad inc. Pink Papillon, Metamorph, Meadowland and Plum. Bought from a blog sale but never used. £10 SOLD

13. Graftobian Hi-Def Glamour Creme Corrector Palette #30277. Usage as shown (only ever used with disposable, clean spatula). £5

14. Yaby Liquid Foundation in Daisy £5

15. Yaby Liquid Foundation in Vanilla £5

16. Yaby Liquid Foundation in Buff £5

17. Yaby Liquid Foundation in Peach Cream £5

18. Yaby Liquid Foundation in Ivory £5

OR All 5 for £20 RESERVED FOR BETWIXTBEAUTY

19. Cherry Culture Bubblegum Lip Balm 50p

20. Wet and Wild Speed Gloss in Frantic Rose 50p

21. Rimmel Royal Gloss in Gourmet £2

OR all 3 for £2.50

22. 17 Lasting Fix Nail Polish in Smoke Signal £2

23. 17 Fast Finish Nail Polish in Knockout Red £2

OR £3 for both

24. MAC Eyeshadow in Shroom £4 SOLD

25. Primark 4 Colour Eyeshadow Quad (super pigmented!) 50p

26. Kryolan Aquacolour Palette in Duochrome. Bought from a blog sale and never used. Light usage. Excellent for face painting or high fashion/editorial looks £7

27. 3 2 Aromaleigh Samples - mainly the Rocks Collection. Discontinued - £8

A cheeky request :)

2011-04-17T13:59:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies!

Remember this photo from this post - well I thought I might show it you again. But for an even better reason this time! I've been watching the London Marathon and feeling really inspired about my running!

I just did some maths (and it's not even a school day!) and I worked out the following.

I have 400 followers.

If each of you donated £1, I could raise £400 for the CF Trust (pretty awesome really)

If each of you donated £2, I could raise £800 for the CF Trust (really awesome)

If you all got super generous and donated £5 each, I could raise a whopping £2,000

If you got obscenely generous and donated £10 each, I could raise a mind-boggling £4,000

I would love it if you could help me out in my fundraising for the CF Trust. I run for them because they're the chairity that keep my husband and my sister-in-law alive and well... it's their research and their advancements that mean that Peter and Sarah are here today and look like they're going to live even longer.

Average life expectancy for someone with Cystic Fibrosis is 32, but it's rising all the time and with your donation, it could raise even more :D

I would utterly love it if you could make a donation on my Just Giving page - even £1 would help :D And who knows, if I crack the £1,000 barrier, I might even run in fancy dress ;)

Speed Review: Meridian Peanut Butter and Oat Bars

2011-04-16T10:30:00.000+01:00

I recently received 3 of these bars as a runner up prize from a giveaway on the lovely Sweet Tooth Runner's website and thought I'd bring you a speedy review.

If you're looking for a bar that's uber natural, packed with protein (32% peanut butter!!!) and iron (from the Molasses) then this is a pretty good option for you, just as along as you like molasses, which sadly I don't :( The general texture of the bar was lovely, and I loved how natural it was, but I found the molasses a little overpowering personally. However, I really do hate things with a black treacle taste so i might just have been over-sensitive to them.

These would make a fab post run refuel or be an excellent mid-hike snack!

You can find these in all sorts of health food stores and I think Holland and Barrett as well. They're also available from multiple online stockists :)

Have you tried these yet? What did you think?

400 Followers and a Blogroll Update :D

2011-04-15T17:16:00.000+01:00

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Hello lovelies! Yowzers! I've hit the big 400! Im literally amazed - what a wonderful treat to come home to :) I remember being absolutely in awe of the blogs that had 400 followers when I started and it really is a privilege to be able to share my thoughts with each and every one of you! Thanks for sticking with me as my blog has changed and evolved - I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am :)

Also, if you're following me but don't think you're on my blogroll or aren't sure if I'm following you back, please feel free to pop a link to your blog in a comment below :)

Lots of love and kisses to you all!

Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle Part One - Catching the Running Bug

2011-04-15T07:42:00.001+01:00

Hello lovelies.

So I've decided to start a new series on embracing a healthier lifestyle - it'll be a little about why I'm choosing to embrace one and hopefully will help some of you embrace one too!

I love this picture.... this is me last year before my first 10k with my friend Roy. Note the attractive luminous yellow running very that the CF Trust provide us with - it's brighter than a policeman's jacket (yep, we've checked).

Last year, whilst Peter was out doing something else, I stupidly sent off an email to the CF Trust to see about entering the Run for All York 10k. They got back to me and said yes and that was it, I was locked in.

I had never run in my life.

Growing up, my family made jokes about my complete lack of co-ordination and my utter inability to run. I would never win a race, in fact, it was a sure thing that I'd always come last. I hated PE at school, right from Year 3 when we had running races across the school field and my hayfever made them agony.

When I hit Secondary School, I developed some pretty made muscular issues which saw me going through endless x-rays (which showed that I have an extra rib on my left side.... weird!), tests and physio appointments.

When I was 13, I was told I'd be in a wheelchair by 16, maybe 18 at the latest.

I was in agony all the time. My knee would regularly collapse underneath me as I was walking, my left arm would just spasm and I'd drop things (flute down the stairs, several mobiles into water). I was walking with sticks regularly from the ages of 15 to 20. The eventually decided that I had Fibromyalgia, but that still didn't quite explain why my Quads were wasting away or why my Hamstrings are so tight!

So how did I become a runner, I hear you cry.

Well, it was a long, slow process. The first time I showed some signs of getting better was when I was Vegan (so from 16-19) but I still wasn't right. What I discovered then was that removing dairy from my diet helped and so did trying to maintain a fairly low sugar diet. But something still wasn't right.

Things got a little better when I came to University, partially (I believe) due to some prayer that I received at church - after that prayer session, I was a lot better for quite a few months, but eventually, things slid closer to how they were.

A couple of Lents ago, I decided to give up wheat.

Eureka!

I was free! Free from the endless pain and weakness. My body was alive again and it was mine :)

It was at this point that I decided to introduce some exercise into the mix, starting with Yoga. Then Peter, my now husband, taught me how to ride a bike (I'd never really been able to do it before) - suddenly I was exercising on a daily basis! My body was growing in strength and I was growing in confidence.

After a few years of yoga, cycling and wheat avoiding (for the most part anyway), clearly something in my brain decided I was ready for a change.... hence I found myself signed up for a 10k race having never run before in my life!

The training was tough, partially because I managed to break my toe in the middle of it and was set back a long way. Also because I'm stupid and eat too many of the things I shouldn't which doesn't ever have a positive effect on my body. But I did it, in 1 hour 13 minutes. I did the impossible.

[source]

I didn't run again after my 10k, and I kinda figured that was it for my running "career". Winter set in and I slipped back into bad habits (lots of wheat, no cycling, no yoga). My body started to show signs of slipping back to where it had been, and my lovely, toned curves of the summer are now long gone.

Somehow, I completely forgot what happened the last time I asked the CF Trust if I could run for them, and, assuming they'd say no, I asked if they had any Great North Run places left for this year.

Of course they did!

Hence the running bug came out of my subconscious and whacked me back into action. It will be hard, and I will hate myself for signing up at points I'm sure, but the fact is, by running this race I can prove to myself and to anyone else reading this that our bodies are stronger than we think they are.

You are stronger than you think! (Thanks to Angela for that piece of advice)

Now I know that running isn't for everyone, but what I want to share with you is that we all have reasons why we think we can't do something. Sometimes it's because of lies we're told when we're younger (You can't do that, You'll never be as fast as so and so, You're not the sporty type), sometimes it's because of fear (What if I fail? What if it hurts?), sometimes it's because we just can't be bothered (I want to be slimmer and healthier but I like my life how it is) and sometimes, it's because it appears that our bodies just won't do it.

Now obviously, if it's the latter, you might want to seek medical help first, but I want to challenge you to try and find solutions for those problems that stop you for plunging into a healthier lifestyle - to work out how you can exercise and give it a try!

If you're a runner, how did you catch the running bug?

If you're not exercising at the moment, what's stopping you?

As a cheeky side note to this post, if any of you lovelies fancy sponsoring me for the Great North Run (and the York 10k as I'm running it again this year) you can do so here and I'll be eternally grateful xx

Resetting, Retuning and Dreaming the Big Dreams

2011-04-14T09:10:00.000+01:00

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Hello lovelies - sorry for yet another stock image, I completely forgot to bring my cable on holiday (and before I went on holiday I had plunged into depths of laziness I previously thought impossible. If you're wondering why I've started this blog post with a picture of a castle, it's because currently I'm around 10 minutes walk from here - Bamburgh Castle, enjoying a holiday by the Northumbrian Coast.

Holidays are wonderful things, aren't they? They force you to stop, take stock, reset your self, retune back into who you actually are (not who your crazy, city dwelling, job working life turns you into) and gives you some time to dream the big dreams. Well, my sort of holiday does that anyway.

I love holidays in the countryside or by the coast or in the sleeping, hidden bits of cities. I'll never be a beach holiday girl or a city break lover. I crave holidays that bring stillness and peace and clarity.

While I've been away, there have been a few things that have plagued my mind.

Firstly, I desperately, desperately want to teach. I love it. I think about it all the time, even on holiday. I pick up children's book in shops and talk to my husband about how I'd use it to inspire my class. I visit National Trust properties and plan out what topics I'd link it to. I am terrified about not getting on my GTP. Hence why I spend so much of my time at the moment feeling settled and anxious and just stressed out.

I've also realised that I actually truly love to exercise. It makes me happier than I think it will. How do I know this? I've done it on holiday. By choice. Running up hills and yoga in the cottage have let my body release some of its stress and tension effectively and have meant that I've felt strong and powerful on some of our longer walks. These are awesome thing :)

Food is important to me. If I feel deprived of or denied the foods that I love, I fell sad. Equally, when I eat the rubbishy foods I often crave, my body doesn't love me. Clean, relatively unprocessed, wholesome food makes me and my body happy :)

The biggest thing that's been revealed to me on this holiday though is that my relationship with God is messy, but that that's ok. That it's tough, but that it's easier to fix than I think it is. Living a life without a church to call your home is not a happy or easy option. At the moment, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place (trust me, if I wan't I'd be in a proper church in the flash of an eye). I'm sure there's a lesson I'll learn from this experience and I'm sure if I put in the time and the dedication, my relationship with God doesn't need to become a complete mess. :)

Also, I felt I should give you all an update on the whole Make Up Artist thing that I mentioned a while back. For some reasons which I'll never know, they never called me back. It was the weirdest thing. I went in and met with them, they told me that I was what they were looking for, that there were some weddings in the next couple of weeks and that they'd give me a call in a couple of days with the dates of them and then.... nothing. But you know what? That's ok :) I feel peaceful about it and I feel like it's a door in my life that's closed but that's ok. What it helped me to realise was how desperately I wanted to be a teacher. I'm sure I could have pursued them a little more, rang them a few times to find out if they had the dates yet, that kinda thing. In the end though, it just felt right to let it be. When I get back, I'm planning on having a big sort through my kit, so keep on eye open for a fairly extensive blog sale :)

What are your big dreams at the moment?

Where are you favourite places to take a holiday?

Obsession

2011-04-12T10:39:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies - just a quick post for you today (I'm actually on holiday and should probably be doing something more holiday esq than blogging but never mind). This week, as it's a holiday, I've been able to indulge in some of my obsessions... the foody treats that keen this little wheat free veggie ticking along in a house full of meat eaters :) The first two are obvious....

Whole Earth Smooth Original Peanut Butter.... yum yum! This is my favourite peanut butter ever! It's super natural (Roasted Peanuts (96%), a little sustainably sourced Palm Oil and a smidge of Sea Salt, making it a little thicker and stiffer than your regular peanut butter but truly scrumptious! I'll happily eat it off the spoon, but this week I've mainly been eating it spread on Corn Cakes (like a rice cake but made with corn instead therefore muuuuch tastier!) with some choppped banana and a drizzle of this....

See how empty that is? We bought this about a week ago. I adore agave syrup! I used to be a golden syrup (naughty) or honey girl all the way, but since discovering this delicious Agave (mine is a lovely organic one by The Groovy Food Company) I find the others far too sweet. This has a beautiful smooth sweetness that works amazingly with all sorts of things. Along with my afore mentioned peanut-banana-corncake snack, I love this drizzled on greek yoghurt and banana! Yum!

The last foody obsession is something very special indeed. We rarely buy this at home because if we did, I'd probably be obese. I will eat this by the spoonful and demolish a tub of it in less than half an hour if I'm left to my own devices...

Yarden Israeli Houmous Extra aka The Most Addicitive Houmous in the World. It's the most smooth, creamy, wonderful houmous I've ever experienced. It doesn't really taste like houmous... well not what you'd normally find in your average supermarket. It's on another level entirly. It's completely smooth - almost like a really cream peanut butter and doesn't have any of the grittiness or sharpness or overly garlicyness of regular houmous. AND it has extra pine nut in the middle of it resting in a bed of gorgeous rich olive oil then at the bottom you have some whole chickpeas waiting for you. It is divine.

If you haven't tried it (and you live in the UK) head to Sainsbury's now, find the houmous aisle, locate this, wince a little at the £1.99 price tag but then just buy it. Even if you think you don't like houmous, I suggest you go buy it and give it a try. If you can have wheat, I recommend this spread really thickly on a soft white roll. If you can't, just have it on anything else you can find (I've got some lovely brown Genius bread to have mine on). Make sure you have a friend nearby to take the pot away from you at a pre-allotted time because I promise you, you will not stop.

What are you foody obsessions at the moment?

Have you ever tried the Yarden Houmous?

Bicycle, Bicycle!!

2011-04-08T18:43:00.001+01:00

This is one of my favourite pictures of all time! It's from some time last summer when we did a 32 mile bike ride along one of our favourite Sustrans routes. Why am I sharing it with you? Because today, I got back on my bike *cue fanfare*

I'm an odd girl, and sometimes I develop random anxieties or fears and over the past few months, the thoughts of cycling to work has filled me with utter terror and dread. Don't ask me why, I honestly don't know. I mean I'll happily do a 21 mile cycle on a Saturday, but cycle to work? No thank you. But today, I bit the bullet and I got back on my bike and cycled to work.

And you know what? It was pretty flipping good! The beaaaautiful sunshine helped, but cycling to work is so easy really - in fact, it's technically easier than getting the bus, and it's quicker, healthier and cheaper too!

So I have a couple of questions for you:

Do you ever get random anxieties or fears? What are you afraid of at the moment?

How do you get to work everyday?

Also, I'm loving some of the ideas that are coming in to save me from being such a fashion disaster! Feel free to comment with some more just here xx

Save me from the depths of fashion disaster

2011-04-07T21:45:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies!

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Today I'm putting out a plea for help.... you see the thing is, I hate my wardrobe. Not the physical wardrobe itself, but the things inside it. Most of the clothes I own are hand-me-downs from an old housemate of mine, which was fine when I was at uni but now a)the clothes are getting pretty old and well over 50% of my clothes have holes in them, b)my housemate no longer lives in York and her wonderfully generous bags of old clothes don't exist in my life anymore and c)I just feel utterly miserable in most of the clothes that I wear. It's got to the point where I avoid certain social situations (i.e. meeting new people) because I feel so embarrassed about my clothes and have literally zero confidence

So surely the solution for this would be to go shopping! However, there's a catch.... I can't abide clothes shopping. I really do detest it! Partially because I just don't understand what suits me and partially because I just find it dull.

So I'd like to make a cheeky request and ask you to put together some ideas for a new wardrobe for me - I'll share all of your ideas in a future blog post and I'll be sure to let you know what I end up buying (trust me, I'll end up buying something - I can't carry on in this sorry state of affairs!)

So a little more about me to help you help me be less of a fashion disaster:
♥ I'm 5'7
♥ I'm most definitely an hourglass
♥ I'm a winter (strong, bold vivid colours - no beige or pastels)
♥ I love stripes and floral prints but hate bizzare 80s things and Paisley
♥ I need clothes that I can wear on a day to day basis in school but also that I can wear in my free time - my school attire can be fairly casual so there tends to be a big crossover between the two!
♥ I love wide legged trousers

Any advice you can give me would be awesome ♥

Pre-Workout Snacky Happiness

2011-04-03T09:51:00.001+01:00

Hello lovelies! Today I thought I'd share some of my all time favourite pre workout snacks! Ideally, these should be munch on around an hour before exercising, but I generally find that I can munch most of them up to 30 minutes before starting my workout. Apologies for all the shamlessly stolen from Google images... my camera batteries are currently dead from being used in the Wii remotes for some epic gaming yesterday :D

Dates with a little Whole Earth Peanut Butter (or any other natural peanut butter) spread on them - packed with protein, carbs and goodness. Dates also have great iron content so are fab for us ladies who are slightly anaemic to munch on :)

A medium bowl of greek yoghurt and agave syrup - in my opinion, this is soooo much nicer than greek yoghurt with honey. The agave is much mellower and has a lower gi than honey. It's also vegan (and obviously, if you're vegan you'll swap the greek yoghurt for some soya yoghurt)

A humble banana. Not too big mind you, and not too ripe (or too underripe) - a little banana can be an excellent pre work out snack packed full of body fuelling carby-goodness :)

A small handful of dried mango. I have to limit myself with this as it's so easy to eat a whole bag of it. It's like gummy sweets but healthy!! Yum Yum! Excellent energy boost and packed with vitamins too!

A handful of nuts - my favourites are cashews so they're the most likely to be in our kitchen but you can go for whatever you like.

Finally and most importantly......

A lovely big glass of water, squash or diluted fruit juice. This is especially important if you're exercising first thing! You must replenish your body's fluid supplies after a good nights sleep! Even if you aren't exercising first thing, it's still a great idea to drink before you go (although not too close to leaving the house as if you're anything like me you'll be desperate for a wee about 30 seconds after leaving the house!).

What are your favourite pre-workout snacks?

(Also, bonus points for whoever gets the Mario reference in this post's title)

Darling Girl is open again!

2011-04-02T10:37:00.000+01:00

Hello lovelies!

You should by now know that I'm a massive fan of Darling Girl Cosmetics and so I'm happy to be informing you that the wonderful Susan is done moving house and has managed to re-open her doors again! Hurrah :D

Also, she's created a beautiful GWP eyeshadow called New Beginnings... have a look:

You can visit the shop just here