The way things were

I remember what life was like before seizures came along.

I remember being able to travel on the tube or a noisy bus without having to wear headphones or contemplate another route.

I remember planning days or evenings with my friends where we did the thing we'd planned to do, and the night didn't end with me shaking in the arms of my best friend and noting the look of concern on his face and the stares of passers by.

I remember working in a bustling office and chatting to everyone and anyone, and going to noisy parties where I could dance and laugh and not be bothered by the booming sound system.

I'm sick of being careful and cautious and worrying about whether x or y will make me ill. It's tiring and tedious and boring as fuck.

I deal with them all in the same way - mild exasperation and boredom coupled with a resolute steadfastness and refusal to let my spirits be dampened too much.

But I do miss the way things were. I'm really looking forward to that coming back.