Getting back on the horse

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Hello lovelies! As some of you will know, the reason why I haven't been blogging over the last couple of weeks is because I've been a massive huge ball of stress whilst waiting to hear back from my GTP (Graduate Teacher Programme) interview... well, yesterday I heard back from the Consortium and I've got a place on the course :D Hurrah!! However, now I have to start to apply to the schools and go through a whole stage of school interviews, so it's not 100% set in stone that I'll be training in September but it's looking pretty likely!

So why have I called this post Getting back on the horse? Three reasons really...

1.Getting back on the teaching horse
Not many of you will know this, but I actually completed two years of undergrad Primary Teacher Training before changing half way through to a degree in English Language and Linguistics. I had to leave my course for a lot of different reasons (nothing to do with not liking teaching or failing the course itself, but health, finance and general emotional wellbeing - it was a tough year to say the least) and I was pretty much convinced that I'd never be accepted for a Teacher Training course again (they're reaaally funny about taking people on who've failing to complete initial teacher training before) - but THEY DID!! This is the only part where they might have rejected me for that and yet they chose to take me on! I feel a lot more confident about the school interview stage than I did about the course interview stage because I know that the place where I'm most "me" is in front of a class of kids - they really do bring me alive (as opposed to in front of a panel of two adults where I become some sort of idiot... I genuinely can't believe they took me on after some of the hilarious (read as stupid) things that happened in my interview)

2. Getting back on the running horse
Well, you know, not a literal running horse, but the horse of running.... or something like that. When I get stressed or anxious, I just shut down. I eat (a lot... and man have I eaten a lot over the past week) and I sleep, maybe cry a little but that's literally it. I've been going to bed at 8 or 9pm everyday this week just so that I don't have to think. I've also been avoiding running (well, exercise in general) because all I've wanted to do is sit and think and worry. Stupid really, but hey - it was only a week or so, and we all have our bad patches. I'm going out for a run with Peter this afternoon and I'm going to book in a training run with a colleague of mine who is also running the Great North Run at some point this week. If it gets to Wednesday and I have mentioned a run - shout at me! I also really need to start cycling to work again - I've been channeling a lot of my GTP anxiety into excuses for not cycling... partially because my route is long and on a road and I think when your brain is all over the place, it's not the safest place to cycle. But this week I can buck up my ideas and just get on with it!

3. Get back on the blogging horse
When I'm stressed or anxious, my blog is pretty much the first thing to go out the window for two reasons - partially it's because I can't actually focus my brain for long enough to write anything but it's also a confidence thing. I've spent a lot of time over the last week convincing myself I'm a failure and that doesn't lead to healthy blogging thoughts either! So I'll be picking up the blogging pace a little over the next few weeks again :)

How are you all? I feel so disconnected from the blogging world. Hugs, kisses and chocolate hearts for you all xxx