Sexy, no? If that doesn't make you chuckle... I honestly don't know what will.
Today I'm going to continue the Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle series that I started a little while back. If you don't know what I'm talking about, this is the series so far:
EAHL Part One: Catching the Running Bug
EAHL Part Two: Thinking Big, Dreaming Big
Today I want to talk about something that I'm really guilty of doing all the time. It's not a healthy habit, and it's one that I'm trying my hardest to lay to one side in order to live a healthy, happy life.
I'm a chronic comparer.
I compare myself to everyone I meet, see or interact with. I don't even have to think about it, I just do it. Most of the time, I conclude that they are prettier/thinner/cleverer/wiser/cooler/better than me. I convince myself that I'm an utter idiot and that I've got on their nerves before they've even had a chance to know me. I manage to convince myself that if I were that person, my life would be a lot more awesome and a heck of a lot easier.
You know what though? It has got to stop.
You see, being a chronic comparer does you no good if your aim is to have a happy, healthy life. In fact, if I'm going to live my life constantly striving to be someone else, I might as well stop now because its never going to happen. I am who I am and that is that. Yes, I can make some changes here and there - a more defined upper body by working that area out a little more, a slightly faster pace by introducing a little speed work but at the end of the day, I am me and that's ok :) In fact it's more than ok - it's awesome!
The other truly awful thing about being a chronic comparer is that it shows zero respect or love to the person you're comparing yourself to. It makes you jealous of them, anxious about talking to them - heck it can even make you forget that this superhuman you're comparing yourself to isn't actually a superhuman at all, just a normal human being with their own share of trouble and strife. Instead of loving, supporting and encouraging them, chronic comparers end up being pretty mean about the people we call our friends. Even if it's only in your own head, that grumpy jealousy isn't nice!
So what am I going to do? I'm going to lay my chronic comparison to bed and I've got a couple of tools to help me do it:
1. When I see something I admire about another person, I will complement them on it
2. If I find myself starting to compare myself or worry about not being that person, I'll remind myself that I am who I am and that's just plain awesome (I might even have to resort to carrying around a picture of myself in that moustache...)
3. If the thing I'm comparing is a reasonable goal, I will try to introduce it into my lifestyle. So for example: I notice that a friend eats waaay more fruit and veg than I do. Instead of getting jealous and beating myself up, I'll head to the shops, buy some fruit and veg and eat it! Makes sense doesn't it?!
Ta-daaaa, easy as one-two-three!
Are you a chronic comparer (or a recovered chronic comparer)?
What steps can you introduce to stop yourself falling into the trap?
I think I am a chronic comparer... yes :(
ReplyDeleteFor example, to cope the way I should, I love your hair ;) xx
That looks like a fun wedding!
ReplyDeleteI definitely compare myself to people all the time, especially to my friends which seems so wrong because even though i know they like me as i am... i always find myself wishing i was as pretty/thin/funny as them. It's a pain.
I love the point you make about making reasonable goals, that seems like a really good way to shift the focus back to positive things you can do, rather than feeling negative.
That looks like a fun wedding!
ReplyDeleteI definitely compare myself to people all the time, especially to my friends which seems so wrong because even though i know they like me as i am... i always find myself wishing i was as pretty/thin/funny as them. It's a pain.
I love the point you make about making reasonable goals, that seems like a really good way to shift the focus back to positive things you can do, rather than feeling negative.
Another chronic comparer here! So hard to stop though isn't it!
ReplyDeleteI agree! it's not good to compare yourself to others, but it is such a hard habit to break.
ReplyDeleteRuthy - good start hehe!
ReplyDeleteSarah - It was quite - those were the best man's thank you present that we stole hehe! It's such a difficult habit to break isn't it? Lets try to stick to some positive goal making :D
Laura - it totally is :( Hope you can manage to break the habit!
Jemma - thanks hun :) Its super hard isn't it? Still though, better to try and fail rather than not try at all :)
Great post, I think comparing yourself to others - especially in the blog world is an easy trap to fall into. I made sure very early on that I wouldn't do that, especially around things like how fast I can run, what people eat etc, the only person I'm in competition with is me at the end of the day. I just strive to be as best I can. Love that pic of you!
ReplyDeleteI'm really working on not comparing myself to others and just embracing who I am. I have to catch myself before I let those comparisons bring me down. Thank you for your post, and I'm so glad that I found your blog!
ReplyDelete-Emily
All of the things you mentioned apply to me so much, I get jealous of people so easily because they seem so pretty and interesting and I'm not at all, I definitely need to stop comparing myself because at the end of the day it just makes me a bitter person!xx
ReplyDeleteI am so bad at comparing my legs to other people's it's ridiculous. I've always had quite muscley legs and am terrible at looking at people with slim slender pins and wondering why they have legs like that and I don't! Next time I do that, I'm going to think of this post x
ReplyDeleteLaura - what a great decision to make! I completely agree - I think the blogging world can be one of the most awesome places at times, but it can so easily lend itself to comparison, jealousy and anxiety about not being good/fast/pretty/whatever enough.
ReplyDeleteEmily - thank you sweetie! I'm so glad I've been able to help a little. Good luck with learning to love yourself and stop comparing - you're awesome because you're you and nothing's going to change that!
Holly - I hope that my little post has helped a little :) You are a beautiful,wonderful, unique lady - enjoy being you and don't ever try to be someone different x
Twelve54 - you know what? I bet there's a gazillion ladies who would love your strong muscular legs! Good luck in trying to break the comparison trap :) x