So it turns out I don't have glandular fever (hurrah!) but I do have post-viral fatigue (boo). On the plus side though, I'm feeling about a gazillion times better than I did this time last week so hopefully I'll be able to go back to work next week all refreshed and shiny and new! I'll also (hopefully) have a little more to blog about... when you have zero energy and your days consist of sitting in bed alone, there's not much to blog about. There is, however, much to think about - especially if you happen to have some awesome friends who have kept you company (in an online sense of the word) and engage you in interesting, thought provoking conversation.
I thought today I'd share with you some of the things I've learnt or been thinking about over the past two weeks...
♥ I need to listen to my body
Just do it - and if your body is saying it needs to rest, let it. Don't try to drag yourself into work or try to walk into town or try to cook a meal. Do what it's begging you for and rest. If you don't, you'll only make things worse for yourself.
♥ I say sorry far too much
It's funny how written conversations highlight certain verbal tics far more than spoken ones. I've discovered I pepper my conversations with "I'm sorry" or "I apologise" like you wouldn't believe. Sometimes, I don't even realise I've said it. Most of the time, there's absolutely no reason for saying it. It's ridiculous and it's something I really want to train myself out of.
♥ As much as I can deal with the disappointment of not getting on my GTP, I'm confused about my future
I love being a teaching assistant - I really, really do. But I don't want it to be my career for life. I'm a little confused about where to go next... whether to apply again for teaching or to consider the other options. Sadly, now is not the time to be pondering a career of any sorts - so few jobs for so many people, especially up here in the North.
♥ I don't actually hate London as much as I think I do... in fact, I'd rather like to live (nearer) there
I've always been an active proclaimer of my hatred of London - big, loud, scary, dirty. I think I've been to quick to overlook some of the wonderful things about London. I'd quite like to spend more time exploring.
♥ I've spent the last 5 years of my life dedicated to something I'm not entirely certain I still believe in
Church and God have played a big part in my life since I moved to York and although I've had my wobbles in my faith, I've always had to plough on regardless because it was my job or because I've been so involved. Over the past few months, and especially since I've been ill, I've been able to let some of my questions rise to the surface and had some time to think about them and properly explore them. I've appreciated that. I'm not planning on labelling myself as anything for the time being other than a "thought explorer".... because I feel that's what I need to be for a while :)
♥ My heart's desire is to be vegan
And for once, I've let my heart have its way. When I stepped away from veganism a few years ago, I was never entirely happy with the decision... I mainly did it because too many people were mocking me and, to some extent, bullying me because of it. I regret that move. Peter challenged me to man up and go vegan again and I have. It's been easier than I thought it would...somewhat like getting back on a bicycle after not riding for a few years. He, of course, is still a meat and cheese loving omni.
♥ There's so much more to enjoy in life than I sometimes think there is
I find it very easy to settle into frustrations... I get frustrated about York's lack of culture, about not having balls enough to protest about the things I want to protest about, about not having enough time to take photos or enough time to enjoy books. If I took the time I wasted feeling frustrated, or the time I fritter wandering aimlessly and feeling listless, I'd have so much more time on my hands. Sometimes, you need to open your eyes wide and hunt out the beautiful things :)
♥ I desperately need to man up
I'm scared of crowds, needles, the sea, frogs, getting into trouble, offending people, being forgotten about, failure... the list goes on and on and on. Deal with it woman.
♥ I really, really love running
And I really, really hate not being able to run right now.
♥ Twitter is way more awesome than Facebook
But we all kinda knew that already right?
What have you learnt this week?